Here’s Who We’d Cast In An All-Women ‘Fast & The Furious’

Image via Complex Original

Character: Dom Toretto

Replacing: Vin Diesel

Do you ever think “I wish Gabrielle Union was in more things”? Because I do, all the time. Gabrielle Union would make a great Dom for the all-female Fast & Furious—she’s funny, she’s beautiful, she’s athletic, and she’s got that boss attitude. (It also helps that she’s already a friend of the franchise.) If Gabrielle Union can lead a highly competitive high school cheerleading squad to victory, she sure as hell can lead a squad of drag racers turned superspies. Can’t you already hear her perfectly delivering the “I don’t have friends, I got family” line? (Also I just imagined her and Michelle Rodriguez as an onscreen couple and holy hell…)

Character: Luke Hobbs

Replacing: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

Sure, Ronda Rousey was sort of the lady version of The Rock in the last F&F movie, but no offense, Ronda Rousey is kind of a terrible actor. But Gina Carano—she’d be perfect for Hobbs’ role, not just matching The Rock’s level acting-wise, but carrying this coveted role with charisma. Yes, I know the actress/mixed martial artist already appeared in Fast and Furious 6, but what I’m saying here is, Gina Carano should be a goddamn regular in the franchise. If her action star chops in Haywire or Deadpool aren’t convincing enough for you, just watch her face off Letty. Imagine that but over the course of several Furious movies.

Character: Deckard Shaw

Replacing: Jason Statham

A big part of Jason Statham’s character is that he is aggressively British (at one point in F8, The Rock calls him a “tea and crumpets-eating son of a bitch). It’d be cool if this universe’s version of Deckard Shaw was played with extreme Frenchness by Marion Cotillard, and Gina Carano would be like, “that baguette-eating, beret-wearing bitch needs to calm down.” We’ve already seen Marion Cotillard’s villainess prowess in another Hollywood blockbuster (ehem The Dark Knight Rises); all we’re asking now is that she get to wear chic turtlenecks and kick even more ass. 

Character: Eric Reisner

Replacing: Scott Eastwood

I didn’t realize that Scott Eastwood’s character was such a goddamn fuccboi, but that might just be because Scott Eastwood is, well, Scott Eastwood. He plays the new guy, second-in-command to Kurt Russell’s Mr. Nobody, who doesn’t fit in with the squad’s dynamic and has yet to get a hang of how things work around here. Kristen Stewart in this role of the newcomer would be much cooler with 100x more steez (obviously). K-Stew is a master of nervous twitching—so imagine her as the anxious newbie for like the first half of the movie before she finally gets in the groove and transforms into a chain-smoking, speed-racing baddie. You’re welcome, folks.

Character: Tej Parker

Replacing: Chris “Ludacris” Bridges

In keeping with the F&F tradition of hiring rappers as actors, Nicki Minaj would be the perfect addition to the F8 squad. I loved her in The Other Woman (also I low-key loved The Other Woman?) and she’s proven she has the comedic chops worthy of Luda’s Tej—she’d be so good at dragging Roman in that playful way Luda always does!  Plus, imagine her various hacking lewks and possible soundtrack contributions.

Character: Roman Pearce

Replacing: Tyrese Gibson

Tyrese’s Roman is easily a fan favorite because he’s the extra comic relief in an already comedic movie. Kate McKinnon was just that in the Ghostbusters remake. She’d be perfect at fumbling around and getting into mishaps and delivering killer one-liners. The other players should watch out, or else she might steal the entire goddamn show.