Donald Trump mustered up just enough intellectual capacity on Tuesday night to speak in front of Congress for the first time since losing the popular vote, meaning you know our dude Stephen Colbert had to go live to make sense of the shenanigans. The special live edition of Late Show, which included appearances from Lisa Kudrow and former press secretary Josh Earnest, gave Colbert a full 12 minutes to discuss what Democrats have called Trump's "monument to hypocrisy."

Colbert nailed a Civil War joke right out of the gate, explaining how Trump's address was part of an unfortunate alternate timeline. "Now technically this was not a State of the Union because I think in this timeline the confederacy won," Colbert said. "I've never seen this movie before but I think that's how this one ends. We've got to get back to the interdimensional portal as quickly as we can."

CNN's "powerful microphones," Colbert joked, were able to capture audio from that heavily retweeted video of Trump seemingly rehearsing ahead of the address. "Uh, I'll have the clams casino and a side of steak," Colbert said in Trump's voice. "The lady will have a coke, no ice, and I'll have her steak please."

In addition to pointing out all the predictable boasting Trump attempted to do during his speech and making note of the former Apprentice host's "little hands," Colbert pondered the possibility that all of this was simply the result of a high-profile misunderstanding. "Any chance there's a mistake and Moonlight is the president?" Colbert wondered.