Thank you Vin Diesel. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to once again type these sacred words: candy ass. With the dust surrounding all that alleged candy-assery (temporarily?) settled, Diesel hit his Facebook followers Thursday with quite the tease regarding the forthcoming Fast 8. Specifically, Diesel said the Fast and Furious sequel's first trailer will arrive Dec. 11 and will "blow your mind." Wait a minute. December?!?!
a trillion years months from now. The Facebook post is also pretty vague:
Though the photo says TRAILER in the usual Fast and Furious font, what does that mean exactly? Is Vin Diesel really such a nice, cool, non-candy ass guy that he wants to give us all a few months to carve out enough time in our schedules to watch a trailer? Or, as a lot of people seem not to know the difference between a "teaser" and a proper "trailer," maybe this is just the release date for a teaser of the actual trailer?
Here's the real kicker: Fast 8, directed by F. Gary Gray, doesn't hit theaters until April 14. That means we still have a good six months or so for Diesel and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson to take their totally-not-a-publicity-stunt feud to the next level by, say, descending upon WrestleMania in Orlando just days ahead of the movie's premiere.
In related Fast and Furious teases, here's a doozy. Caleb and Cody Walker, brothers of the late Paul Walker, revealed earlier this month that the franchise might be bringing back Brian O'Conner. "I had a phone call with Vin for about an hour and we really discussed this a while back," Caleb told Entertainment Tonight. "He wanted [our] blessing."