More than most family trees, the Kardashian and Jenner’s branches can get a little tangled. The complications stem back to, like, the ‘80s. But these days, the saga continues through Rob Kardashian, after he wifed up his youngest half-sister’s boyfriend’s baby mother—and queen of the universe, these days—Blac Chyna. It’s been a long road for Ms. Chyna, who will be going by Angela Kardashian pretty soon. Her baby’s father left her for a then-underage Kylie Jenner. But Blac Chyna is strong, smart, and savvy—we’ve gone over this in detail already—and went on to fell in love with, and improve the health, legacy, and life of Rob Kardashian. The former exiled Kardashian member left the spotlight years ago after gaining weight after a few rough breakups and, you know, being part of the Kardashian family. Now though, he’s lost over 50 pounds, looks damn near exuberant, and is engaged to—and expecting a child with—Blac Chyna, our savior. It's been quite a ride.
On the heels of the MuvaMoji-powered announcement that Blac is pregnant with the one true heir to the Kardashian throne, here’s a quick breakdown of how this all came together, from Blac Chyna’s debut appearance on Keeping Up With the Kardashians to the last three months (it's only been three months?!) of love.
January 6, 2014
Kim Kardashian and her then-relatively-unknown (outside the world of rap media, at least) BFF Blac Chyna have what most of media declared an “ass war” on Instagram. The two were rumored to have met after Tyga lingered on Kanye West so hard until they eventually started to go on double dates and, well, the rest is history.
Tyga was caught being a hoe in a West Hollywood nightclub parking lot with two random women in his car, signaling one of the first times Blac Chyna was really involved in celebrity gossip.
Everything was all good at the ultra private wedding of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West in Italy, where Tyga and Blac Chyna—still a couple—posed for photos in the infamous Kardashian Photobooth. That photobooth would house plenty of pics of Tyga and Kylie in years to come.
Blac Chyna made her Keeping Up With the Kardashians debut in a Season 9 episode where she and Kimmy go pole dancing, only to be interrupted by the one and only Kris Jenner.
Tyga and Blac Chyna call it quits. They’d been together for over three years and got engaged two years prior, but when Tyga threw a birthday party for Kylie Jenner, in Blac Chyna’s backyard, we’re guessing that didn’t go over so well.
October 16, 2014
Just kidding! Blac Chyna posts a photo of Tyga kissing all up on her with the caption, “ *kiss face emoji* by the way he said I’m not missin no meals….” an ode to Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” lyric.
Oops, just kidding, again. One month later, the infamous Twitter debacle in which Tyga’s petty ass hacked into Chyna’s account and posted, "Im a gold digger & a cheater. I never really loved Tyga. It was always about the money. After he took me out the strip club gave me a beautiful family." Trash.
That same month, rumors surface that Kim was still trying to salvage some sort of friendship with Blac Chyna, too.
Over the next, say, year, there was a lot of drama. Tyga called Blac Chyna a bad mom while he was riding around waiting to pick up Kylie from her homeschooling. Blac Chyna was out having the time of her life with her BFF Amber Rose, all while making fun of Kylie’s lip injections. Also, strangely enough, Blac Chyna defended Kim against Rob Kardashian’s slander to the paparazzi. In the meantime, while Tyga was waiting for Kylie to turn 18, Blac Chyna was dating Floyd Mayweather’s BFF, but they broke up in September 2015. And then there was that whole Future saga, too.
January 25, 2016
The Beginning. Blac Chyna posts an Instagram of Rob’s arm (we know from his shitty tattoos) around her. For a long time, we literally hadn’t seen evidence of Rob even existing, let alone dating, besides the Kardashians bickering about him and whether or not they should support him in Season 10 of KUWTK. But while sources said Blac was preying on Rob in some elaborate scheme to get back at her former BFF’s family that now supported her baby daddy dating her ex-BFF’s little sister (exhaustive, we know), there were also reports she was helping Rob lose the weight. Kanye even rapped about it on “Highlights,” with the line “Blac Chyna fuckin' Rob, help him with the weight.” According to this sex calculator, having sex for 80 minutes (dudes, step it up) can burn 300 calories. It’s called science, look it up.
Anyways, as rumors started to fly, Rob stepped his meme game up and confirmed—and trolled his sisters, his momager, and everyone else—his relationship with Blac Chyna.
Late January 2016
Blac and Rob hit the gym together, and he moves out of Khloe’s apartment and into Blac Chyna’s, where we got our first real sighting of Rob in months. So, four days after the Instagram post heard ‘round the world, Blac Chyna jetted off to London—where she teased paps about her new love—while Kris Jenner, in all of her Mr. Krab meme glory, rushed her ass over to Blac Chyna’s house to talk to Rob. Meanwhile, Blac Chyna got drunk as hell on the flight, had ecstasy in her purse, and was arrested for disorderly conduct during a layover in Dallas. What does Rob do? Facetimes her, posts it to social media so everyone knows it’s still real, and then drives a whopping 19 hours to go save her. We know Rob’s been ex-communicated from the Kardashian Klan for a bit, but didn’t Kim tell him about JetSmarter?
While Blac Chyna and Rob fuck their way back to the Hidden Hills, rumors brew about beef elsewhere in the Kardashian household—between Kanye West, his booty, and Amber Rose, Chyna’s BFF. The couple couldn’t be phased though, and instead Snapchatting a grocery run to Whole Foods and new ads for Rob’s sock collection.
February 14, 2016
Valentine’s Day. A whopping three weeks after the initial photo was posted, Rob gifts Blac Chyna a $35,000 diamond-encrusted piece of art that also has the lyrics to John Lennon’s “The Beginning” written all over it. Reminder: the Instagram caption on the initial pic was, also, “The Beginning.” The other gift is 100 roses, to which we suggest consulting with Kanye next time—that dude knows how to give flowers. Sex is doing Rob well, he’s shed, like, dozens of pounds, the two are kissing all over social media, licking, cleaning out carbs from Rob’s kitchen, and going to lunch at Benihana in sweats (RICH).
Rob goes shirtless—for the first time since he was with Rita Ora—for a cookout. Then he and Blac travel down to Montego Bay where Rob throws stacks on his twerking girlfriend. Plus, Rob rings in his 29th birthday with Blac Chyna and her son at LEGOLAND, there's a trip to In-N-Out, and a few celebrations at clubs in Atlanta.
April 5, 2016
Blac and Rob get engaged—we know it's official because Amber Rose made a MuvaMoji especially for the couple to celebrate. And why yes, that’s a $325,000 engagement ring. The celebration incudes dozens of roses and Blac Chyna’s mom in tow. And what’s better than an engagement? Rob showing off the 50 pounds he’s lost since January. The Kardashians are mute about the engagement—except for when Kim discovers Snapchat filters and posts one of her crying (with excitement?) a few days after the engagement.
Rob and Blac Chyna could give less of a shit, and instead, celebrate with some stacks and twerking—again. And now that Rob is getting skinnier and having enough calorie-burning sex to hit up McDonald’s every once in a while, he truly emerges from his shell, even giving interviews to TMZ solo. As the two celebrate their engagement, somehow—through the grace of Kris Jenner—even Blac Chyna and Kylie make amends. But the real shocking news comes when Rob, Blac Chyna, and Kimmy go on an excursion to an OB/GYN office. So maybe we should've seen this next thing coming?
May 6, 2016
Angela Kardashian announces that she and Rob are expecting. Three months is all it takes for one to fall in love, get engaged, lose 50 pounds by fucking and weight lifting, and get pregnant. It truly is a romance of our time. But you know who’s really celebrating today? Blac Chyna’s mom:
CHYNA'S MOM IS SO HAPPY SHE STARTED SINGING LMFSOVFHBV pic.twitter.com/urbABtGHWO— ️ (@biebersvelIi) May 6, 2016
June 1, 2016
Despite the drama Rob caused by reintroducing Chyna into his family's lives, it's announced that he and Chyna would be starring in their own six-episode reality show for E!, which would include a special on the birth of their baby. They start filming almost immediately after the show was announced. Unsurprisingly, Kris Jenner is behind the whole thing.
However, later in the month, Rob and Chyna have a fight that causes him to move out of her home. A sign of things to come, perhaps.
The couple has an “explosive fight.” Rob deletes all traces of Chyna from his social media. According to the internet, the fight was either about spending too much time together, spending too little time together, or because Rob was flaking on filming. Whatever the fight was about, it seems to blow over fast—soon after because Chyna is seen once again wearing her engagement ring on Snapchat.
September 11, 2016
Rob & Chyna premieres on E!, and we learn that the couple is having a baby girl. Rob looks very psyched about it:
September 26, 2016
All hell breaks loose. Rob tweets out his youngest sister Kylie Jenner’s cell phone number because she and the rest of his family failed to invite Chyna to a baby shower they were throwing him. The reasoning behind the sisters not inviting the mother of Rob's baby to a baby shower becomes a little bit clearer when TMZ reports that the couple has actually been broken up “for months.” The breakup apparently reignited a Kardashian family feud.
But let's talk about this "breakup." For a couple who has been split up for months, they certainly see each other a lot—they had dinner together two weeks ago. And they've been very good about not looking like two awkward exes. When they covered People magazine in early September, they didn't look or seem too broken up. Basically, this is a situation we need to continue to monitor.
The End (for now).