The candy assery continues. You know how that whole Vin Diesel vs. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson thing kinda smacks of semi-casual performance art? Well, with Fast 8 arriving in theaters just weeks after WrestleMania 33 does its thing in Orlando, the conspiracy theories surrounding the "why" and "how" of this increasingly entertaining beef have understandably started gaining some serious traction.
According to a so-called "insider" who spoke with revered intelligentsia publication Life & Style, Diesel and Johnson are pulling a fast one on the general public. "They are playing a huge prank," the insider claimed. "It's all for publicity. The Rock convinced Vin to amp up the drama between them so they could turn it into a WWE match to help promote the April 2017 release of Fast 8."
Hmmm. Super interesting indeed. Though the idea of Johnson and Diesel dabbling in performance art is a truly exciting proposition, it's worth noting that absolutely none of this has been confirmed by anyone other than Life & Style's insider. Also, as Uproxx pointed out, does a movie as inherently massive as Fast 8 even really need to do all this extra promo? At any rate, it's still safe to say that a shit-ton of people would definitely tune in for a final Rock vs. Diesel showdown, so why not make it happen?
The greatest performance of our time was prompted by Johnson's Instagrammed frustrations about some alleged "candy asses" on the Fast 8 set, some nameless co-stars who were apparently making the shoot hella difficult. Though a lot of people understandably assumed some guy named Scott Eastwood was the leading "candy ass" in question, a report from TMZ eventually bestowed that distinction upon Diesel.
As long as they promote this alleged televised showdown by utilizing 2016's favorite insult, candy ass, then we're all very here for it. WrestleMania: Candy Ass Edition for 2017? Stay tuned. Hell, Brendan Dassey might even be in the audience.