It's been less than a month since Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson wrote a very angry Instagram message allegedly calling out his glory boy Fast 8 co-star, Vin Diesel. In that time, Fast 8 crew members have reportedly strongly asserted that the feud is real, and the two actors have dug in, trading shots back and forth. They've progressed to the passive-aggressive stage of celebrity feuding, where shade is currency—last week, The Rock left out Vin's name when thanking the Fast crew as filming wrapped, and this week, Vin said that The Rock's role was originally meant for Tommy Lee Jones.
Now is the point of the article where I remind you that the validity of this feud is very much up in the air. I've long maintained that the conflict makes much more sense as a Fast 8 publicity stunt. An effective one—this website has written 12 articles about The Rock and Vin, and by association Fast 8, this month alone, and the movie doesn't come out for another eight months. Now, a report from Life & Style of all places has added to this publicity argument and mapped out a very convincing end game for this so-called feud: this is all leading up to WrestleMania 33.
An "insider" told Life & Style, "They are playing a huge prank. The Rock convinced Vin to amp up the drama between them so they could turn it into a WWE match to help promote the April 2017 release of Fast 8." Now, you may have real trouble trusting a gossip magazine that's incorrectly yelled "KHLOE KARDASHIAN IS PREGNANT" so many times. And there's a very good chance this "insider" is a guy who parked Vin Diesel's car one time. But put all of that aside and you have to admit that this all makes way too much sense. WrestleMania is on April 2 next year, a mere 12 days before Fast 8 will be released. Staging a satisfying conclusion to a months-long feud—what better last-minute promo is there? And you better believe The Rock has done this kind of thing before. I'm going to let my friend, pro wrestling historian and kayfabe expert, khal, take it from here:
These fabricated dramas, when the roots are laid early, work, and no one understands that better than The Rock. The guy's whole life is promo, so why would this be an exception?
And for anyone arguing back at this, "Why would Fast 8 need extra promotion? Furious 7 made a billion dollars!" you're right—the Fast and Furious franchise is extremely lucrative and successful. But do you really think a Hollywood studio, the essence of capitalist greed, is cool with not making more money? You will never hear an exec say, "You know what, we don't need to be as successful this time around." As a Hollywood douche bag once wrote:
See you at WrestleMania.
