When looking for a voice of reason to provide apt and relevant commentary in a heated penis discussion, one need look no further than Sausage Party auteur Seth Rogen. Rogen was kind enough to lend his investigative expertise to Andy Cohen and the Watch What Happens Live! crew Sunday, joining Some Other Guy for a round of intellectual discourse regarding the respective penises of Orlando Bloom and Justin Bieber.
"As soon as I hear there's a famous penis out there, I am the first person to ravenously devour it online," Rogen said. "I've seen Justin's before so maybe I was just like, you know, 'I've been there, done that,' a little bit. It's a wonderful one!" As for Bloom's recently revealed extension, Rogen also had high praise. "Orlando's, I was really happy with," Rogen said. "Good for him! He's in great shape overall. I thought, honestly, Orlando's probably a bigger guy and proportionally his penis looked to scale."
Rogen had more to say about Bloom's unintentional "Rise" promo on the Howard Stern Show Monday, noting that last week's most tweeted-about photos were actually a huge boost for dude's career. "People remember Orlando Bloom is a fucking OG," Rogen said. "People will probably buy more tickets to see the big dick guy." Additionally, Rogen added that Bloom is also a "super nice" guy.
Speaking of phallic humor, Rogen's very R-rated Sausage Party slides into theaters Friday. The existential food romp features the voice talent of Rogen, Kristen Wiig, Michael Cera, Jonah Hill, James Franco, and somehow not Orlando Bloom. Wait. What if Bloom's paddle boat nudies and Rogen's Sausage Party promo tour are somehow related?