I'm no McConaughater, but allow me to lead us all in a chorus of NO NO PLEASE NO regarding the beloved actor's recent hints of stepping in to make a third season of True Detective a reality. We loved what dude did with Rust Cohle in season 1, but season 2 got the message out loud and clear that True Detective should've been a one-season ride. So maybe, if there is any justice left in this universe, Matthew McConaughey's new gig as creative director of Wild Turkey bourbon will satisfy his cerebral leanings enough to leave the HBO would-be classic alone. Forever.

"I told them, 'I don't want to be just a face. I have ideas. I'm an idea man,'" McConaughey, who just inked a multiyear Wild Turkey deal, told the New York Times Monday. "The brand is a little dusty, and in some ways I'm shaping a full-on reintroduction." According to McConaughey, he's particularly stoked about bringing some realness to the proceedings. "It's totally authentic," he said. "And that appeals to millennials. Because they can smell fake. Some manicured, bearded hipster soliciting them? No, thanks."

As part of McConaughey's "idea man" strategy, his relationship with Wild Turkey will not follow the same formula of those infamous (and glorious) Lincoln ads. Instead, McConaughey is doing it all. Dude will be writing, directing, and starring in the new batch of Wild Turkey spots. To ensure the message gets out in the most McConaughey manner possible, he'll even be helping put together the campaign's surely playlist-worthy soundtrack.

The first entry in the McConaughey-ified Wild Turkey rebranding is a 6-minute jaunt through the bourbon's history as a family franchise, a perfect fit for the actor's perpetual True Detective vibes and, like we said earlier, more than enough intellectualism to keep us all levelheaded about bringing back the True D.

Please drink and/or speculate on the future of True Detective responsibly.