Stephen Colbert isn't one to discriminate, meaning you should have known damn well he'd be bringing his increasingly classic take on beloved Hunger Games character and leading hair innovator Julius Flickerman to this week's Democratic National Convention. Though Colbert was able to rush the podium at last week's Republican National Convention televised dumpster fire with relative ease, making it to the DNC stage proved a bit more difficult and, thanks to said difficulty, noticeably funnier.

"Today, the Democratic National Convention launched with infighting over those leaked emails and the resignation of Debbie Wasserman Schultz," Colbert said on Monday's Late Show. "I don't know why there was more of it today. Why didn't they deal with all of that yesterday? It might have been my fault. Because, truth be told, yesterday I went down to Philly to bask in the coming Democratic conflict. I see it as something of a blood sport."

Colbert then shared footage of his attempted DNC podium rush, including some timely criticism of NBC anchor Chuck Todd's goatee and Bernie's "dollar store" suit.

Colbert also celebrated the DNC's locale, Philadelphia, by ingesting a cheesesteak he "found on the ground a couple hours ago" and debuting a semi-psychedelic song-and-dance number that welcomed fellow humans to the festivities. "You may have felt the Bern but now it's time to learn," Colbert sang. "She is your destiny." The name of this remarkably catchy tune? "Death, Taxes, and Hillary."

But the real highlight here is Colbert boldly declaring former presidential candidate Martin O'Malley a certified "DILF," an acronym that needs no further elaboration.