Date of Fucking: Presumably mid-2000s. 
Pre-Fuck: Successful Film Career, Fucked Models​. 
Post-Fuck: Burglarized by the Bling Ring, Still Fucking Models​ (and Katy Perry). 

Unlike numerous other high-celebrity dudes who took time out of their busy schedules to refute claims that they'd ever fucked Lindsay Lohan (*cough* James Franco *cough*), as if this were somehow anything close to The Worst Thing Ever, Orlando Bloom managed to keep his fucking mouth shut. If I had to guess, this celebrity pairing probably happened around 2006 (you ever notice Bloom always seems to sweep up beautiful women while they're peaking?). Incidentally, both were burglarized in 2009 by thirsty teens who have now become affectionately labeled by the media as the Bling Ring. Wouldn't it be fun if court hearings drove these two into the throes of passion? Sadly, it just threw him into the arms of Katy Perry (at least for now).