On Wednesday night, Ben Affleck made an unforgettable appearance on the debut of Bill Simmons' HBO series, Any Given Wednesday. The actor, who appeared red-faced and was audibly slurring during his segment, went off for almost five solid minutes on the Deflategate scandal that rocked his beloved Patriots. He viciously criticized the NFL, its commissioner, team owners, and anyone else who got in his way, cursing like a sailor all the while.

Some choice quotes from Affleck's appearance, which you can see in its outrageous entirety above: 

  • "Deflategate is the ultimate b******t f*****g outrage of sports."
  • "If the NFL really knew how to test for steroids, there'd be no f*****g NFL." 
  • "This is a conspiracy of people working inside the NFL who all come from organizations that Tom Brady whipped their ass over the last 10 or 15 years...who are now going, 'Get him! Hang him!' because they now have some slight, flimsy f*****g pretense."
  • "They haven't done anything to address this crisis of domestic violence in the NFL, but the f*****g football better not be eight percent lighter."

Many viewers speculated Affleck may have been intoxicated during his appearance:

Simmons, for his part, denied that was the case:

Either way, many viewers were completely on Affleck's side: 

No matter what, props to Bill Simmons for managing to hold it together while Affleck casually mentioned sexting.

Thursday afternoon gifted us with some tweets from the man himself, with Affleck revealing he probably should have just given 12 fucks instead of 18: