No, that's not a small penis joke. This is serious business. Yes, schlong tattoos are hilarious—to your dude friends. But if you're trying to use that wang for anything other than getting laughs out of your drunk college buddies, there's going to be some problems, as this guy from England recently found out.
Lewis Flint, 21, recently appeared on the British docu-series Bodyshockers, Nips, Tucks and Tattoos to discuss the way the vacuum cleaner tattoo on his donger is ruining his sex life. Specifically, it's a tattoo of the anthropomorphic shop-vac cartoon character Henry the Hoover, and his shaft is the hose.
His story, via Metro:
"When I first got it done aged 16 I couldn’t stop getting it out, I got loads of attention and I was a bit of a local hero, I loved it. But I was with a girl recently and I liked her, things were going well until we got naked."
"When she saw it she said 'what’s that? I am off!' I was gutted, I never thought I would regret my tattoo when I got it done."
Even the dude's own mom thinks his weiner art is weird.
"I can’t believe he has had the tattoo, it must be off putting for a lot of girls," she said. "You can’t take him seriously as it is ridiculous."
Next time you're thinking about how hilarious a tat on the old baloney pony would look, just think about how laser removal surgery on your peen is gonna feel.