If you enjoy torturing your own intellect to the point of exhaustion, then you probably watched Thursday's soul-shattering GOP debate with reckless abandon. However, even with the candidates doing their best to make up for his absence by practically foaming at the mouth to emulate his rampant xenophobia, many viewers noted that this particular debate was way less torture-y due to the lack of one Donald Trump.
Sensing the nation's need for balance, Stephen Colbert dedicated a nice chunk of Thursday's Late Show to moderating an "all-Trump" GOP debate. Terrifying? Yes. Torturous in a way that a Trumpless GOP debate is simply incapable of matching? Very yes. "There are now 24 million viewers up for grabs," Colbert estimated. "I am grabbing them."
Though the Trump v Trump action certainly warrants its own hard-earned anti-intellect horrors, the finest moment of Colbert's debate rests in the clip's opening moments: "We all know [Trump] brings huge ratings. After all, he is the star of this year’s top reality show Celebrity-a-President." Get it? It's hilarious because it's depressingly true.
I'm starting to question whether Leonardo DiCaprio and Pope Francis really can save our increasingly doomed planet.