Since the world met James Bond, there have been ridiculous, overtly sexual names for the series' female characters.
With famous "Bond girl" names like Dr. Holly Goodhead or Octopussy, it's obvious that writers and directors of past Bond movies were in on some joke—and the butt of that joke was women.
But what if the tables were turned, and 007 was a woman? What would "Bond boys" be named? A Redditor recently asked this question, and the answers were hilarious:
Roger Moore
This one might not be obvious right away.
But Redditor EthanS1 broke it down:
"To roger is an English slang term commonly used to mean have sexual intercourse. However, it is used only for men towards women, and not the other way round. It is also commonly used to describe the taking of a woman from behind.
I am going to roger her.
I rogered her something stupid.
I rogered her up the arse."
Roger that.
Eaton Bush
If Honey Ryder is a good name for a Bond girl, then Eaton Bush is a perfect name for a Bond boy.
If you really want to kick it up a notch, throwing an "R" in there couldn't hurt, suggested mablo: "Eaton R. Bush."
It doesn't stop there...
Redditor librlman went above and beyond, compiling a long list of suggestions:
QuiM: due to budget cuts, the positions of Quartermaster and Management have been merged.
Spencer Moneyshot: QM's secretary.
Dong Laong Tung: Chinese-American billionaire tycoon.
Chief Hanzi Bighorn: Native American tribal bigwig and possible uranium smuggler.
Tictac: villainous dwarf sidekick.
Mr. Bigglesworth: a hairless henchman and avid 'furry' devotee.
Mr. Hung: big, bad henchman.
Roger Latouche: evil middle manager. Business analist for FOX News. Reportedly bisexual.
Igor Ivannavatch Roksov: Russian ex-KGB. Avid voyeur.
Jack Mantooth: CIA analyst.
Strom Fister: evil henchman, likes to work with his hands.
Other hilarious suggestions included Oliver Holes, Oliver Klozov, Plenty O'Toole, and Dixon Cider.
Thanks to Reddit, we have enough material to write a new Bond film. Any suggestions for actresses to play 007?
