Imagine what you could do with hundreds of millions of dollars. You could possibly pay Michael Bay just enough money to stop allowing Transformers movies to happen. Maybe you could even use some of your stash to finally convince Ashton Kutcher to take some responsibility for his actions by completely ridding the planet of his awful attempt at a Steve Jobs biopic. If imagining stuff isn't exactly your cup of tea (what exactly are you drinking?), then just live vicariously through the poetry of the guy above.

"A bunch of hookers and cocaine," says the relentlessly patriotic gentleman in the FOX 5 by way of BroBible news clip when asked what he'd do with his theoretical Powerball winnings. After no one scored during Wednesday's drawing, ABC 7 in San Francisco is now reporting the potential Powerball haul has reached an estimated $700 million. For those not into math, $700 million would most likely bring the recipient a voluminous amount of this so-called "hookers and cocaine" combination.

We salute you, honorable one. Your honesty regarding the potential pleasures of prostitution and recreational drug use inspires each of us to find our best self and never let go. For that, we thank you.