Our doomed planet, rife with poisonous Chipotle and the promise of even more Transformers films, is now tasked with the intellectual concern of figuring out who the hell is going to pay Donald Trump's milkshake debt to noted milkshake loan shark Bill O'Reilly. Trump, having recently revealed plans to host his own event instead of attending or otherwise participating in Thursday's Republican debate on Fox News, stopped by O'Reilly's TV house on Wednesday to discuss this debt and, well, a bunch of other stuff that will also cause brain freeze.

"I bought you so many vanilla milkshakes," O'Reilly insisted. "You owe me. Will you just consider?" Trump, who will in fact not consider, then proceeded to more or less agree that he does owe O'Reilly a bunch of milkshakes. However, if his current dedication to trolling America's political system all the way to the White House is any indication, O'Reilly may be waiting for the big milkshake payout for a very long time.

Trump's competing event, which the New York Post reports is most definitely happening, will apparently benefit "veterans organizations" with ­"additional details to follow" for those interested in attending. To translate that bit of information for faster reading comprehension, Trump is reportedly using the politically vulnerable veterans demographic to get back at Fox News.

Sounds about right.