What's better than getting a pristine PlayStation 4 as a holiday gift from the fam? Though the answer should be obvious, the answer is most certainly: a fake wooden model of a PS4 oddly adorned with some mild vulgarities. "He got a PS4 and he says 'This is the best present ever! This is the best Christmas ever!'" 9-year-old Scott Lundy's dad, Brian, tells FOX 25. "He's crying and he's upset and he's in the playroom by himself and he just wants to be alone," Scott's stepmother, Kristin, adds. "I was crushed."

In addition to being fake and wooden and entirely useless, this would-be PS4 was reportedly adorned with the joyous holiday message "From cock and balls, with love." Hella festive.

The Boston family then took the useless device back to their local Target, where Santa Claus presumably works or at least hires out additional help, for a full and painless exchange. "They not only gave us a new game system but they also gave us a $100 gift card as well as an additional game," Kristin tells FOX 25. "Couldn't have been any kinder." According to a Target representative, this kind of thing just "happens occasionally," finally proving with some certainty that even our guy Santa has a penchant for lazy dick jokes.