If you are a criminal and you're trying not to get caught, there are certain things you should avoid. Some of those things include butt-dialing police, bringing cocaine to your cocaine trial, and climbing into bed with the people whose house you've just cased. And yet, against all logic, a burglar in Portland, Ore. stripped naked and slipped into bed with the couple he was attempting to rob, the New York Daily News reports.
But he didn't stop there—the husband awoke to find Richard Dean Defeudis straddling him, kissing him, and holding a knife. The victim immediately shook Defeudis off, grabbed a handgun, and chased him from the house. He fired three shots at Defeudis, all of which missed. Defeudis apparently had time to pull on his pants before taking shelter in a neighboring home, where police discovered him around 4 a.m.
Defeudis was charged with first- and second-degree burglary, first-degree sex abuse, and unlawful use of a weapon. His male victim isn't expected to face any charges—waking up to a naked, horny, knife-wielding home invader with a bad goatee was probably punishment enough.
