Kim Davis, a name that's unfortunately dominated headlines (and embarrassed fellow Kentuckians) since the Supreme Court's historic ruling on marriage equality earlier this year, will now serve time in jail for her baffling refusal to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Davis initially rose to infamy after a YouTube video documenting a local Rowan County couple's denial of a license swiftly went viral.
"You can't be separated from something that's in your heart and in your soul," Davis reportedly told the judge regarding her Christianity and, presumably, her hate. Davis also referred to the act of issuing licenses to same-sex couples as something that would "violate [her] conscience." According to the Associated Press, Davis testified for approximately 20 minutes before being jailed. Davis can reportedly be released once she agrees to comply with ordering marriage licenses to everyone, regardless of her so-called religious objections. After being threatened with jail time of their own, five of Davis' deputy clerks have clarified to the judge that they are prepared to start issuing marriage licenses to everyone starting Friday morning. Kim's son, Nathan Davis, is still refusing to issue licenses.
The infamous clerk's two-month journey to jail has been generously paved with pure ridiculousness, inciting those who should never be within a thousand miles of a working bullhorn to suddenly purchase one and shout self-parodying silliness into it. Now that they have their proverbial martyr, perhaps they can all just become a full-blown cult and leave non-members alone forever.