At the beginning of August, it was announced that Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy had officially broken it off... although truth be told, I don't know if "going together" for 40 years is the move. How long was Miss Piggy trying to hold out for that ring? Did she not learn anything from Queen Bey?
But I digress; I actually have a much more important question to ask: does Kermit only f*ck pigs? Isn't it weird to think that Kermit left one piece of fine swine to rock with ANOTHER pig? Aren't rebounds usually someone who's totally different than the person you'd been dealing with?
Does Kermit just have some weird pork fetish?
And check homegirl out; Denise?! The esteemed Desus Nice broke it down the best, to be honest:
kermit's new girlfriend looks like she got a snapchat full of lip-syncing videos pic.twitter.com/nnhap0pAJS— Desus Nice (@desusnice) September 1, 2015
The more I think about it, you don't see Kermit's family that often. Do you think his parents have disowned him because he doesn't rock within his own species? Hell, to each his own; do you, playboy. The interesting thing is, with such a vast array of Muppets in their universe, how does Kermit seem to only mess with the pigs? Does he have some kind of weird all-swine Tinder that he found homegirl on?
Kermit doesn't know any beautiful female frogs? His mama's a frog. His sister is a frog. Who taught Kermit to hate himself?— Rae (@raesanni) September 1, 2015
Whatever the case might be, I have a feeling The Muppets, which is said to take us inside the drama behind Up Late with Miss Piggy, will give us more information on Denise, who People says is apparently the "head of marketing at ABC."
Who knows, we might end up with a moment where Miss Piggy gets her Nicki Minaj on...
Miss Piggy, "What's good, Denise?" pic.twitter.com/NUGhEoZZA2— Lisa Bolekaja (@LisaBolekaja) September 1, 2015