Some of us are born trolls, while others have trollness thrust upon them. For Jon Hendren, a.k.a. @fart, defying both categories entirely by simply and unabashedly creating his own lane seemed like the only logical choice. After being invited to Skype in on HLN, Hendren was overwhelmed with the brilliant idea of maybe, say, treating Edward Snowden and Edward Scissorhands interchangeably in the name of comedy. Would such a move count as powerful performance art? No. Will people laugh a reasonable amount? Yes.

"Well, you know, to say that he couldn’t harm somebody with what he did," Hendren says in response to Edward Snowden criticism in the clip. "He could, absolutely, he could. But to cast him out, to make him invalid in society simply because he has scissors for hands, I mean, that’s strange. People didn’t get scared until he started sculpting shrubs into dinosaur shapes and what-not." In a beautiful act of not-listening and/or amazing professionalism, anchor Yasmin Vossoughian never acknowledges Hendren's apparent misunderstanding regarding exactly which "Edward S." was in need of defending:

"I expected to be cut off as soon as I mentioned scissors for hands or whatever, but she kept talking to me?" Hendren details to VICE. "I couldn't see anything on my end of the Skype call so I had no clue how it looked or what her reaction would be, so I just kept talking." However, Hendren then steered his relatively mindless (and hilariously so) antics in the general direction of hope:

Morality is relative. We all have to make those determinations for ourselves. Edward Scissorhands's heart was a cookie or something, but in the end, he was perhaps more human than us all.

Cue acute existential crisis.