Though Florida is generally well-regarded for its vast assortment of amusement parks and NASCAR merchandise (?), its greatest distinction among these United States is its status as the leading exporter of drunken nincompoops consistently inventing new methods of achieving drunken virality. This is no easy task, as such innovation requires not only a great deal of drinking, but also a steadfast dedication to the art of continually trying to out-Florida everyone else in Florida.
The latest hero to attempt such a bold feat, 29-year-old Gregory Sorensen, started his historical evening at the infamous Twisted Tuna bar and restaurant in Port Salerno. Thankfully, this article is too brief to attempt to understand or explain what exactly must happen to tuna for it to then become "twisted tuna." According to TC Palm, Sorensen enjoyed a totally reasonable amount of drinks before he reportedly started picking fights with fellow patrons, eventually prompting security to swiftly kick him out.
Sensing a moment to truly champion his Floridian pride, Sorensen then decided to simply swim to another bar. Upon his undeniably Floridian arrival at Shrimpers Grill & Raw Bar, Sorensen was arrested and presumably added to the Big Book of Florida Heroes, something that doesn't exist but definitely should.
Thank you, Florida.