Love is a complicated beast. A burning love left unchecked, like the one that inspired this very Floridian couple to attempt procreation in the middle of the day on a public beach, can wreak unspeakable havoc on a couple and anyone unfortunate enough to know them. As for Kimberly Jackson and Earl Palmer, that unspeakable havoc was thankfully shared with the world thanks to the notoriously ridiculous brilliant field of unintentional performance art known as "local news."

Jackson was arrested after being caught banging an unconscious Palmer in the middle of a public parking lot in Norfolk, Virginia during the day, having fully relinquished control to the dangers of a burning love. They were also extremely drunk. "I'm not into erotic public sex or anything like that," Jackson halfheartedly tells esteemed journalism entity WTKR. When reminded of the fact that she literally just did that exact thing, Jackson simply blames it all on the Goose: "I know. And that was all the alcohol."

Though Jackson's assertion that she will never again engage in future acts of public parking lot fornication seems definitive, Palmer appears to be pretty open to the possibility of really mastering this whole public sex thing.