Although it sounds like a perfect Onion headline, this guy appears to have really celebrated a bachelor party all by himself after his friends' flights were canceled.

Robert Chernow took to Instagram to document his trip to Chicago where he partook in many fun opportunities to bro out, even though his bros were nowhere to be found.

That he did most of it while staring off into the distance like a guy who just got back from Vietnam and has "seen things" honestly made it funnier. 

Chernow got a ticket to a Bears preseason game, by himself. 

Went for a boat ride, by himself. 

Met a mom, by himself.

"This is Michelle. Her and her family sat next to me on the boat (the seats that my friends would've been occupying had they made it here). She showed genuine remorse for my situation - So much so that she gave me a mini bottle of Cabernet before telling her kids "let's go sit somewhere else and let the sad man be alone."

Attended that Bears game, by himself.

Got a Bears fridge magnet, by himself.

"This is Audrey and Nicolette. Even though I didn't sign up for the Master Card they were promoting, they still gave me a Bears schedule magnet because they felt bad and as Nicolette said 'this will look good on your mini fridge. (Beat). You seem like someone with a mini fridge'."

Ate some real Chicago food, by himself.

Had a spa day, by himself.

Visited the John Hancock Tower, by himself.

"This is Chad. He's the ticket agent for the 360 Degree Experience at the John Hancock Tower. According to him 'the panoramic views of the city are unforgettably breathtaking...except when the fog rolls this morning'." 

Felt disappointed by the view, by himself.

Purchased a souvenir green screen photo, by himself.

Got insulted by an ironic pillar sign, by himself. 

As of this writing, a #Chicagoforone Go Fund Me Campaign started by one of Chernow's friends had surpassed its modest $250 goal and brought in $352.