Vladimir Putin has apparently had it with Moscow's nudity. In fact, his ruling party United Russia considers the presence of Moscow's only nude beach as strictly conducive to general lawlessness including "fights, drinking, and public sex." Best of all? They announced their melodramatic threat of closure via a LiveJournal post. LiveJournal, the birthplace of current twentysomethings' brief stint in Panic! at the Disco emotional paraphernalia, is now serving as the birthplace of Putin's stance against surely breezy beach experiences.

"We can't encourage vice," writes Lyudmila Stebenkova, a member of United Russia and Moscow's Duma deputy​. "The police can't put a stop to this orgy because there are no laws regulating nudism." Though a hilariously misguided sense of moral highground seems to be the regime's sole intentions for closing Moscow's only source of happiness, more sinister reasons are likely afoot.

The closure is likely tied to possible economic gains related to potentially viable real estate, according to VICE News"As you know everything here revolves around money," Sergei Mityushin, branch head of the Telord Naturist Federation, tells Moscow News. "So I wouldn't be surprised if the [Serebryany Bor] beach doesn't survive."

Meanwhile, Putin rarely practices what he LiveJournals: