UPDATE 08/04/15:

Donald Trump has ruined the fun by turning the phone number into a campaign ad:

Apparently, if you call at just the right moment, Miguel will answer:

See original story from 08/03/15 below.

Karma works in truly mysterious ways. Days after revealing Senator Lindsey Graham's personal phone number during a campaign rally in South Carolina — thus prompting Graham to turn the destruction of his burner phone into an admittedly great viral clip — Donald "Troll Me Harder" Trump's own number has started making the rounds. According to Gawker, you can reach Trump (and occasionally one of his aides, which has to be the most thankless job in American politics the circus) at 917-756-8000.

If you're stumped as to what exactly you might say, text, or GIF to Mr. Trump — please consult the list of possible introductory statements below:

"Hey, Donald. This is [Your Name]. Which other minorities do you consider to be comprised almost entirely of rapists?"

"Hey, Trump. Can I call you Trump? I just have to say one thing — thanks for destroying the Republican party from the inside out. You are the villain everyone needs right now."

"Hi, Donald. Who is your favorite Nazi — Hitler or someone a bit more obscure? So many Nazis to choose from for an obvious enthusiast, right?"

"What are your thoughts on Watch the Throne?"

"Hey, Donald. How are you? Great. That's great. Hey, did you know YOU'RE BALD?"