Arizona Couple Stumbles Upon Safe Full of Money and Extremely Rare Bourbon While Renovating Their Kitchen

One can assume a tireless, joy-sucking IRS agent is crafting a letter on a typewriter somewhere right now.

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Complex Original

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Renovating a newly purchased house is no joke, particularly in the notoriously not fun state of Arizona. However, stumbling upon a safe full of more than $50,000 in cash, a bottle of extremely rare bourbon, and a gloriously existential philosophy book while in the middle of said renovations certainly has a way of taking the edge off. For one Phoenix couple, that's exactly what happened.

"We moved into our fixer-upper home two years ago," Angie tells The Chive in an exclusive play-by-play breakdown of their discovery. "We’re finally getting around to the kitchen renovation. Eddie is D.I.Y. (enough) and saving us some money. It's cute." Also cute? The safe code the couple reportedly found in the back of a medicine cabinet when they first moved in. Thankfully, Angie kept the code "just in case."

During the demolition process of their lucrative renovation attempt, they found a safe in the floor believed to be "about 10 [or] 20 years old." After a few failed attempts, the medicine cabinet code successfully opened the safe, revealing something called "cash" (?) and other valuable relics:

The total haul, according to the couple's count, ended up being $51,080. The bourbon is a purportedly rare bottle of James E. Pepper, known as the inventor of the Old Fashionedcocktail. The safe also held an apparently clue-filled copy of the appropriately titled 1977 book A Guide for the Perplexed, including mysteriously underlined passages such as the following:

Other clues appear to confirm that the safe's protected items were meant for someone named "Alan," though the couple admits they haven't quite decided what exactly to do with the money (or the bourbon?) just yet. However, a scheming IRS agent hunched over a desk somewhere certainly has a few ideas.

 

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