Though staunch American Donald Trump tried his very American best on Tuesday to give us the most American display of American pride in the history of America, he faltered by forgetting one very crucial element in such activities: Florida.
Presumably surrounded by coolers full of Straw-Ber-Ritas and an unsettling disregard for sunscreen, beach patrons in Pensacola were treated to a breathless show of aerobatics from the undisputed masters of such a thing — the Blue Angels. However, the beach quickly reached an unsustainable level of Peak America with the aforementioned theoretical Straw-Ber-Ritas, a collective disregard for SPF, American flags, Kenny Chesney, Marlboro 100s, fighter jets, et al:
Thus, Mother Nature — surely a humanist and definitely not into the obvious limitations of a nationalistic point of view — made sure to guide one jet close enough (not actual science) during its flyby to render the beach a tossed and turned mess (see video). If not Mother Nature, then it was certainly the sky-dwelling spirit of Stephen Colbert:
