Sure, trends of this nature are a form of social cancer all their own. However, few grotesquely mindless acts of attempted societal interaction are as closely aligned with actual cancer as the increasingly baffling omnipresence of something stupid called sunburn art.

You surely don't require an explanation as to what exactly "sunburn art" is or which sector of the population to which it appeals. In short, stupid people use stupid stencils to burn stupid patterns onto their stupid skin. Yet, many continue to ask themselves: wait, is this (see stupidity below) stupid?

"Sunburns cause DNA damage to the skin, accelerate skin aging, and increase your lifetime skin cancer risk," reads a recent anti-stupidity statement from the Skin Cancer Foundation, staunch opponents of the (nonexistent) merits of sunburn art. "In fact, sustaining five or more sunburns in youth increases lifetime melanoma risk by 80 percent. On average, a person's risk for melanoma doubles if he or she has had more than five sunburns." Thus — no matter what those Straw-Ber-Ritas start to tell you when you've had eight too many — science has once again concluded that sunburn, particularly intentional sunburn, is still stupid.

Friends don't let friends participate in sunburn art stupidity in general.