Over the past few months, one of the most thrilling parts of waking up in the morning — aside from injecting myself with near-cocaine levels of black coffee — has been the continued saga of one Donald "Troll Me Harder" Trump (copyright on "Troll Me Harder" pending). Though I may frequently fall asleep at night with the overwhelming thought of "Is Trump still for real?" I always wake up to further proof that — yes — this man is indeed for real.

As of Thursday morning, Trump is resting atop the Republican primary field with a 20% support rate alongside his crowd-rousing toupée — surely striking beautiful fear in the hearts of many a non-reality TV star Republican. From the other side, this panic is an entertaining farce. But, just one week away from the first Republican debate, those within the ever-humorous party are scrambling to define a reason behind Trump's dominance other than "Wow. People are fucking dumb."

As it turns out, people being fucking dumb actually is the reason behind Trump's growing popularity. According to a new poll from Washington Post / ABC News, Trump's support overwhelmingly consists of "Republicans in the Midwest, conservatives across the country who do not have a college degree and (perhaps not surprisingly) those who report the most negative views of immigration and Mexican immigrants in particular." Of course, these findings likely warrant a unanimous "duh!" from most people — so let's take a slightly closer and more defined look:

"In a nutshell," adds reporter Janell Ross, "the people pushing Trump to the head of the polling pack in the very crowded Republican field, the people who have assured Trump a position on the debate stage next month and the people fueling Trump's candidacy are — overwhelmingly but not limited to — white, Republicans with limited education."

Sadly, this poll was conducted without the option to inquire about uneducated white Republicans' views on a Donald Trump / Deez Nuts or Donald Trump / Sarah Palin joint ticket. When the world collapses in on itself, look around for the nearest person you see with a Trump Nuts 2016 campaign sticker and scream with wild abandon "It's your fault!" before laughing hysterically because, hey, nothing is real.

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