Though I've spent the better part of this week relentlessly maligning Florida, Texas, and (briefly) Pennsylvania, it is with a determined lack of ceremony that I redirect my textual destruction to my former home — Alabama. For context, here's a quick video I took the last time I visited the state:

Though usually mired in violent debates about football and/or which Lynyrd Skynyrd song to loudly request at non-Lynyrd Skynyrd affiliated events, the state — Montgomery, specifically — can now wallow in a very different kind of debate: what's with all these fucking STDs?

According to a handy new map (surely great for referencing on a cross-country road trip) from, Montgomery is the most sexually diseased city in America. St. Louis, Missouri and West Memphis, Arkansas round out the top three, according to data culled from CDC statistics:

These (terrifying) numbers only include reported cases of syphilis, gonorrhea and chlamydia — meaning herpes doesn't even make a cameo here. Just so we're all clear, condoms most definitely still exist!