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While Netflix is busy at work with the Full House reboot, Lifetime continues to have no chill by moving forward with its unauthorized film based on the iconic '90s sitcom. Today the network released its first cast photo for The Unauthorized Full House Story, answering the question, "What would Full House look like if it were super basic?" There's no Bob Saget, no John Stamos, and no Olsen twins. Instead we have a bunch of scrubs in a movie nobody wants.

Here's the cast:

  • Garrett Brawith as Bob Saget as Danny Tanner
  • Dakota Guppy as Jodie Sweetin as Stephanie Tanner
  • Justin Gaston as John Stamos as Jesse Katsopolis​
  • Justin Mader as Dave Coulier as Joey Gladstone

Bizarro Full House is nearly upon us, and we're having none of it, thank you very much. It'll air Aug. 22.