Keeping Up With the Kardashians' Salads: A Journey of Self-Discovery

All of the salads that the Kardashians eat on KUWTK

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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Keeping Up with the Kardashians recently wrapped on the first half of season 10, and if you’re anything like me, you know the best part about this show. Let’s say it together on 3—

1…2...3... GIANT SALADS.

Ahh yes, welcome to my passion project. This took me way more time than I care to admit. Let’s begin.

Salads are the low-key star of this show, and dammit, they need a raise. Yes, women may make 75 cents for every dollar a man makes, but salads on KUWTK make nothing and that’s a crime, too. They are the crux of this whole show, nay, empire. Without the salads, there would be no storylines. How else would they construct a setting for these people to discuss things that don’t matter? What are they going to do, just sit there? Please.

Once you notice that the Kardashians eat giant salads in each others’ Calabasas mansion kitchens, you reach the highest level in Scientology. As someone that’s reached that level, let me walk you through every moment I could find.

Season 9, Episodes 1 & 2

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The good people of Complex let me use their Hulu account to start going through the entire show. But I wasn't going to watch 110 hours of TV to find salads, so I fast-forwarded to Season 9. I found the following immediately:

 

I was delighted to see the first unnecessary close up shot of a salad in my research.

I then got lazy and jumped straight to season 10.

Season 10, Episode 1

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We begin with a classic salad scene starring the three Kardashian sisters. They sit in their mother’s kitchen even though they have their own homes (except Kim because she’s the least successful) and discuss something probably super important. Kourtney, preggo in her third eggo, is the lettuce eater here.

See that thing in the lower lefthand corner? That’s salad. Think that was an accident? HA. Salad is the sneaky true star of this show and it’s going to fight with Kim herself for camera time.

Season 10, Episode 2

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There was only one moment in this episode, but I screamed when I saw it because LOOK AT THIS BEAUTY.

Just look at all that salad.

 

 

Look how happy they are eating salad.

Season 10, Episode 3

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Kourtney and Scott discuss world peace and an end to the AIDS epidemic.

 

In another scene, Kourtney, Khloe, and Kris discuss things.

Khloe’s hand tries to block the shot of the salad and the salad’s all like “you can try and stifle me, but dammit, I’m going to shine.”

Look at this salad stealing the shot away from the matriarch.

Season 10, Episode 4

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They don’t show Kim eating the salad, but a woman knows. Look at that green and red business. Salad City.

Ugh, every time I find a moment it’s such a RUSH.

Season 10, Episode 5

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Whilst the Kardashian sisters discuss Kim’s upcoming tech conference, we get our first big breakthrough.

 

They don’t finish the giant salads all in one go. They save part of the salad...for later.

Season 10, Episode 6

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This episode had salad scenes A PLENTY.

Here Kim has an important business meeting over a salad. I’m counting this tomato/cheese business a salad. It looks so damn good.


Be right back, going to make this my cover photo.

Okay I’m back, and I have some thoughts.



  1. Why do the producers make a conscious effort to show the salad in great detail with a quick zoom shot?




  2. Why do they feel the need to show Kim inhaling said salad?




  3. If I was the executive producer of MY OWN SHOW, why would I let them include this shot of me?



BECAUSE SALAD PAID THEM OFF. Or, someone BEHIND the salad. Alas, it all makes so much sense. Who’s the face of healthy eating in America? That’s right, MICHELLE OBAMA. She paid the producer’s off for the salad screen time. MICHELLE OBAMA IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS.

Season 10, Episode 8 & 9

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Anyway, episode 7 was a dark hole of zero salad scenes, but episodes 8 and 9 well made up for it because they introduced us to our very first salad flashback.

Also this:

And that concludes my salad research for season 10. Unfortunately I didn’t see any other salad moments in the remaining episodes, probably because Michelle Obama ran out of money. Thank you for joining me on this quest. Let’s go over what we learned today:

Nothing.

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