As many as 50% of all marriages end in divorce, but far fewer end in divorces as proportionately fair as the doomed union of a German man known only as Der Juli and his surely less-than-enthused ex-wife. Rather than wallowing in the wake of their divorce, Der Juli instead proceeded to actually split everything they owned in half — including a car, an iPhone, a couch, a TV, a bed, a teddy bear, and (presumably) his own pride.

Thankfully, Der Juli documented much of this process (see below) and is actually selling his halves on eBay. "Thank you for 12 'beautiful years,' Laura," reads the YouTube description. "You've really earned half. Greetings also to my successor."

Sadly, if you're the sort of mildly sadistic American who scours eBay for artifacts from the failed marriages of total German strangers — Der Juli is, in fact, not shipping to the United States.

Divorce goals.