About three weeks ago, the internet (us included) fell in love with the story about the recently-divorced Hilary Duff joining Tinder™ and jumping back into the dating pool. "She's so normal and cute and down to earth! How amazing is it that a celebrity is scraping the bottom of the barrel of internet dating like all of us do!" said everyone.
Fast-forward to today. Today is a reminder that you can never trust a single thing a celebrity does.
Today Duff released the music video for her new single, "Sparks," and wouldn't ya know it, the entire thing is about her joining Tinder™. The radio interview where she dished about her hopes for joining Tinder™? It's in there. Scenes where Duff and her friends meticulously craft her Tinder™ profile and then surf Tinder™ to find hot Tinder™ guys? There are more than a few. "Candid" moments from her Tinder™ dates? Check. If you don't count the dancing scenes interspersed throughout the video (which are admittedly great, like a better version of the Britney Spears and Iggy Azalea video that dropped yesterday), "Sparks" basically looks like Tinder™'s version of a Match.com commercial:
Can you imagine how the guys—assuming they are normal men and not actors, which might be silly, all things considered—who actually went on those dates with Hilary felt? One minute they're telling their friends about how they scored a date with Hilary Duff on Tinder™, and the next she's asking them to put on a mic and sign a release form. That's soul-crushing stuff.
So just to be clear: no, a world does not yet exist in which celebrities cruise the internet looking for one-night stands with normals. Not even Leonardo DiCaprio is dabbling in that. The next time your heart is filled with wonder over something a celebrity does, remember this, and let cynicism wash over you and turn your spirit to stone.