With the rise of intelligence work that centers solely on the workings of the Internet, an internal memo obtained by the NY Times reports that cyber security agents are all getting real, real fat. The agents charged with taking down Silk Road and scumming the surface of the pond that is 8Chan are now being forced to take fitness tests for the first time in nearly 16 years.

FBI Director James Comey said in the memo, 

“The lives of your colleagues and those you protect may well depend upon your ability to run, fight and shoot, no matter what job you hold.” Fitness tests at the FBI were suspended in 1999 around the same time policing of the internet was just beginning and you were still using a GeoCities page to get to your LiveJournal account. The online FBI security division is instrumental in breaking up child porn rings and trolling the deep web for the potential sale of weapons or materials, and all 13,500 FBI agents worldwide have until October 2015 to complete the fitness assessment.