A couple from Illinois are doing exactly what you once drunkenly suggested to your fast-food-worshiping coworker at last year's office Xmas party — they are having and seemingly enjoying a Burger King-sponsored wedding. Joel Burger and Ashley King, who reportedly met in kindergarten, recently detailed their long and punny road of courtship to CNN. "We were shocked," said King, "and still are."

And so it is with a bang, not a whimper, that we reach peak pun. The stretched pun has given us everything from your high school gym teacher's nickname selection method to the lyrics from your brother-in-law's patently boring folktronica band. It's fitting, then, that we release the power of the pun into the wilds of normalcy via a wedding. In a sense, we are both warmly embracing and vehemently dejecting the allure of capitalism.

Thank you for your puns and bravery, Joel Burger and Ashley King.