We don’t usually think of prehistoric people as terribly “advanced” when it comes to technology. However, maybe we’ve just been thinking about it the wrong way.
Archaeologists have recently discovered several “ice-age batons,” which is a very dressed up way of saying “rock carved into a dildo.” These rough-looking toys date all the way back to 30,000 BCE, and while we can’t say for sure what they were used for, it seems kind of obvious.
Dr. Martin Rundkvist—an archaeologist working on the project—says that “There are many non-dildoish uses for which it may have been intended but without doubt anyone at the time would have seen the penile similarities.”
You have to applaud the resourcefulness of our ancestors, who used what minimal tools they had at their disposal in the cleverest of ways. It’s pretty hard not to see the aforementioned “penile similarities”: