Laughing in the Face of Everything: Life Lessons From Comedian Kyle Kinane

Image via Complex Original

We started, as many do, with the daily commute to work. Already a point when we’d rather be sleeping or going anywhere else, all it takes is one person to ruin a day before it even starts. In a scene that has become all too familiar, I asked Kinane how he would avoid overreacting to being cut off by a canary yellow Chevy Corvette Stingray. To make matters worse, the driver is weaving through traffic like it’s a videogame, with a cell phone pressed to his ear.

Kinane admits, “I want to lay a personal brand of social justice on them,” but adds that, “clearly this guy didn’t have a childhood that was rewarding or parents that reaffirmed he was important to the world...He needs more out of this world than I do.” It is a novel idea: pitying the person driving like a wild lunatic instead of wishing their immediate fiery destruction. He did add at the end, “normally my default is to chase them...and [I’ve considered] carrying around a box of spark plugs to throw at their windows.”

Kinane doesn’t shout at cashiers when a sale item rings up at the wrong price, nor does he particularly care when they’re flipping through a magazine while the line extends steadily towards the back of the building. “Someone making $6 an hour to sell sweaters; their job sucks already.”

Kyle did have a particularly memorable poor service experience. “One time I had to get my car fixed. It wasn’t fixed, they lied to my face, and so I challenged the man to a fight.” A teenager at the time, his father inevitably had to pull him off the counter, but as he’s grown older he's realized that in the end, material goods aren’t worth the hassle of getting angry.

Kinane had an equally enlightened perspective on the passive attitudes of rude service staff. I told him about a time I ordered a medium burger, and got something so rare it was actively grazing on my side salad. A manager examined my food before determining whether I could send it back. “I have never encountered a place that would be so rude,” said Kyle.

His suggestion: “You should use this interview to tell them to cram it up their ***.” While not everyone has a magazine article to voice his or her dissatisfaction, Kinane makes a good point. Mediums like online reviews, social networking, and customer surveys are a far more effective way to get back at poor service. They allow you to construct a more potent argument, or at very least something more classy than flipping a table. Plus, the more into it you get, the more entertainment it will provide in the future.

Kyle shared his personal philosophy for those who are living paycheck to paycheck: “There’s a freedom in being broke. You have nothing to lose.” Renting movies, eating cereal every meal of the day—these are easy and inexpensive ways to enjoy life on a shoestring budget.

I asked Kyle how he handled lousy jobs in the past, and he surprisingly responded, “I’ve never had a terrible job in my life; you make friends at your job and find people you’re cool with.” Confucius wrote, “Chose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life,” and often times a work day is really only as bad as you make it. A sense of humor paired with people who make coming into work enjoyable can make a bad situation better. Still, he advises, “Be a smartass and make fun of stuff, just don’t get fired for it.”

Negative criticism can be a tough pill to swallow, especially if it comes from an overbearing boss or, worse yet, a faceless Internet troll. Being in the spotlight, Kyle is no stranger to color commentary. He makes a clear distinction of what advice he really takes to heart. “Constructive criticism comes from your friends in a personal conversation,” says Kinane. “Everyone gets an opinion on the Internet,” but he maintains that the words of strangers, “with an Internet connection and no social skills,” especially the malicious ones, are empty.

Dealing with the disappointment of parents can be even more difficult. Kinane talked about his own family, saying, “My parents wisely never had expectations of me as a kid, and therefore I had nothing but surprises for them.” It’s a perspective that Kyle admits is hard to fully appreciate, but his experience was one that was supportive and open rather than regimented and scripted. Kinane suggests a family life of mutual respect, where parents let children develop as people. “Just have faith in the fact that you raised them well and then be fascinated with what they choose to do with that upbringing.”

We then took a turn towards matters of the heart, and how best to handle the stresses of relationships. Kyle’s feelings about argumentative dating were straightforward: “If I was with someone who was a fan of blowing up little details, I usually didn’t stay with them. I’m a laid back guy...I don’t suffer those things.” He encourages affection over anger, even in the event of a harsh breakup. “To decide you hate somebody after you decided you loved somebody, it’s a real turncoat move on your emotions,” says Kinane, who firmly believes that discounting the love you once shared is akin to cutting off your nose to spite your face.

I pressed Kyle to see if he had ever used his humor to diffuse tense situations with a girlfriend, and he admitted that, “I guess I come off as more sarcastic than I figured, where I overestimate the healing power of my sense of humor.” He still thinks it’s worth the risk of, “getting punched in the face for comedy,” especially if it calms an uncomfortable situation, though he confides it’s really more of a theoretical practice at this point.

Finally, we arrived at the subject of life goals. Many feel like life starts getting away from them when they compare their own personal progress with that of their friends. Kyle started by saying, “Reaching different stages and progress are two different things.” He elaborated with a bit of his own personal history. “I’m from the suburbs so I had a lot of friends who did what they thought you were supposed to do, which is go to college, then get married, then have kids and enjoy your world of debt.” Kinane held firm to the idea that progression is relative, and trying to compare yourself with a friend who has different life goals makes no sense.

Kinane reflects, “I moved to LA and found a city full of people that, regardless of age, just picked out the best part of their 20s and decided to live that way the rest of their lives. In my free time I spend my disposable income...chasing my dreams. And I think I did okay. I’m pretty happy with the choices I made.” In other words, make fulfilling decisions, exercise self-awareness, and there won’t ever be a need to compare your life to anyone else’s. 

Comedians may poke fun at the world around them, but it’s a skill that comes with being keenly aware of their surroundings. It’s an air of practical wisdom that helps highlight the inherent ridiculousness of the situation. Where it’s easy to resort to contention and anger when things don’t go as planned, Kyle Kinane reminds us that it’s okay to laugh in the face of everything. Keep an eye out for his next Comedy Central special and new album, I Liked His Old Stuff Better, coming in early 2015.