She’s conquered vampires, werewolves, dwarves, and wicked witches. Now, Kristen Stewart is ready to fulfill her destiny as our next great superhero.
Speaking with Yahoo over the weekend, the seldom-smiling actress revealed her deepest, darkest secret: that she yearns to play a role alongside Captain America. “I would love to show people that I can do more than just be ‘Kristen Stewart’ in a different movie, in a different circumstance,” she said. “I’m sure I could get on board with Captain America, you know what I mean?…It would just have to be the right thing.”
Idea: Captain America falls for a brooding girl with a haunted past (Stewart). He becomes Emo Captain America. He gets an all-black suit, starts wearing eyeliner, and listens to a lot of Morrissey. Samuel L. Jackson gets super annoyed, Cap tells him he doesn’t want to be a “phony” or “conformist” anymore. K-Stew silently nods approvingly in the corner. At some point, the rest of the Avengers stage an intervention. It turns out Stewart was a succubus all along. They all fight. Captain America defeats her by playing “Walking on Sunshine” on repeat. They all go to a shawarma place for a snack and share a few laughs/jokes at Cap’s expense. Roll credits.
[via UPROXX]
