9 Times Pam Made Us Incredibly Uncomfortable

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In “A Going Concern,” Pam returns from a trip to Jamaica (she was deported) with dreadlocks, a sweater with stereotypically Jamaican colors, and mountains of weed. Throughout the episode, she perpetually offers massive blunts to her coworkers—so far, so good—only to have them rejected. Every time they refuse, she blows smoke in their face and says “racist.” Is she wrong?

Pam Poovey knows how to make a point. Mocking Cyril with the possibility that Lana and Archer are having sex while posing as a couple for a mission, she illustrates how intense the other agents’ boning would be by using a gyro as a visual aid. She takes the sandwich from behind, really giving it to the lamb meat and refusing to let go until after she’s finished, even if that means dropping it, picking it back up, and giving her lunch another thrusting.

Before the office ban on fraternization goes through, Pam tries to convince practically everyone to sleep with her. When she's working on Brett, she uses her dolphin puppet as a persuasive tool: "No one would ever know!" Brett rejects her, saying, "I'd know," but the joke's on him! Brett's dead, and Pam is so good in bed that Archer describes her as basically a "Chupacabra, but for dicks."

It’s not surprising that eccentric wealthy old man Conrad Schlotz is attracted to Pam and her green Russians—she’s a confident woman who knows her way around a dairy farm. What is a little terrifying is that Malory somehow got involved. Thankfully, the details of the sex are left to the imagination. What happens in Gstaad stays in Gstaad.

The baby shower for the Wee Baby Seamus is a bit of a disaster for Cyril (he gets knocked unconscious so Archer can steal his blood). While he’s out cold, Pam takes advantage of him. It gets weird, and not in a good way. Everyone has sex with each other so often on the show that it barely means anything anymore, but this is just flat out gross. Let’s not think about what she was planning to do with the hog-tied FBI agent when the gang escapes from the bureau at the beginning of Archer Vice.

Pam's bodily functions are legendary, especially her constant difficulties dropping a deuce. So the scary thing isn’t even that Pam has a record for stuffing pool balls in her mouth—who doesn’t? But when someone slaps her on the back at a bar and causes her to somehow swallow all of the balls, she has to spend a morning passing them out. Ouch.

At the beginning of season five, her coworkers ditch espionage work to sell a metric ton of cocaine, but Pam can’t help but eat the profits—literally. Throughout Archer Vice, she develops a serious cocaine addiction (“enthusiasm,” she says), eventually “hulking out” and rampaging through Cheryl’s house when she’s forced to detox.

One of the best lessons Pam that has to teach is the value of going to town on free food, no matter the cost. She devours the fake crab on Cheryl’s brother Cecil’s submersible, even though she’s actually allergic to soy. The horrible things this does to her face are unimportant, though. The crab is delicious, and besides, she assumes Cecil will have an EpiPen or something. Anaphylactic shock is no biggie when you’re Pam.

“El Secuestro” is the funniest episode of Archer for a few reasons, but the best is that it’s sort of a debutante ball for Pam, who survives being kidnapped to literally bust some heads. And her most powerful, scariest moment comes when Pam reveals how she paid for college: underground-fighting rings. Let Pam’s immortal apology for murder be a warning to us all to never mess with the Poovey.