Thanksgiving marks the beginning of the thirty-plus-day food Olympics that's bookmarked by T-day on one end and New Years Eve on the other. Buttons, zippers, and buckles will all inevitably strain to keep your shrinking wardrobe in check as we move through the Holiday season, and there's not much we can do to help you with your decisions on just what constitutes seconds when it comes to pie.
What we can help you with is how best to avoid being burned, maimed, stabbed, arrested, and generally survive Thanksgiving more or less embarrassment free. Our first suggestion? Stay indoors and carve a wide berth away from any brick and mortar retail establishment on that Blackest of All Fridays, unless you're hoping to recreate The Running of the Bulls using members of your community in the aisles of Target. We humbly present Thanksgiving Fails: Your Complex Guide to Avoiding Death and Embarrassment, please enjoy.
