Ok, so scenario: you're at home with your partner and two young kids, your Waitrose online shopping gets delivered straight to your kitchen, just like they said it would. You start to unpack the groceries and as you're picking up the bananas you realise there's a huge-ass spider on them so you drop them into the fruit bowl and trap the beast by the leg. What do you do next? The same thing a south-London man did this week most probably, you google it.
That's not the end of it. So you find out that this spider is a Brazilian Wandering Spider, its bite can kill without the right anti-venom. What do you do next? Tim in South London thought he should call Waitrose again. Tim. Seriously, Tim. What is the Waitrose man going to do?
It didn't matter because the spider had torn its own leg off and done a runner. Leaving behind a sac full of baby deadly spiders. Waitrose, cleverly, called a pest expert, who managed to trap the spider and freeze the eggs.
But while we all checked under our bananas and saved pest-control on speed dial, Dr Robert Raven, head curator of arachnids at Queensland Museum "ridiculed" the story to the Guardian, saying: “In terms of speed of death, in Australia we say funnel web, 15 minutes, no sweat...With a funnel web bite to the torso, you’re dead. No other spider can claim that reputation.”
So that's another country that's too terrifying to visit.