It’s never a good sign when your $150 million movie is deemed to need more special effects, but that’s exactly what happened with Jupiter Ascending just over six weeks before its scheduled release this past July. The movie will now be released this February, traditionally the worst month all year for movies.
This is the context in which you can digest the newest trailer for Jupiter Ascending, which stars Mila Kunis as the most attractive janitor in history and Channing Tatum as a half man/half wolf that Kunis finds attractive because “I’ve always loved dogs.” The plot of the movie is way too confusing to explain here, but basically Kunis is actually the heir to the illustrious title of Queen of the Universe and Channing is a bounty hunter initially sent to kill her but then ends up protecting her instead.
Sean Bean is also involved, and will almost certainly find a way to die.
The bright colors and special effects certainly look cool, but on a potential trainwreck scale of 0-to-John Carter, Jupiter Ascending does not look terribly promising.