Fitstagram: 7 Ways to Spot The Instagram Fitness Narcissist

Please, no more six-pack.

Sep 18, 2014

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With the summer officially at an end, it’s that time when us red-blooded males take our biceps, six-packs and other heavily toned body parts off public display. It’s also that time of year when guys go back to the gym to go #BeastMode so they can get their bodies ripe and ready to show off just in time for next summer. It’s good to stay fit and healthy—but there’s a fine line between celebration and blatant vanity—and there’s no place where that’s more prominent than in the world of Instagram.

Just to point-out, taking a quick pic of yourself in the gym after weeks of effort shouldn’t be frowned upon—so how do we spot the heroes from the shameless narcissists? Here are the seven ways:  

1. Hashtag overload

No quicker way to look like a complete tool than slapping ten hashtags on every single post. Why? So you can get more likes, comments and follows? Ask yourself, do you really need the validation and approval of your followers and other random Instagrammers? #GTFOH. Hashtags are annoying in everyday life already let alone as part of a gym routine.

2. Constantly taking pictures of your ‘healthy meals’

Question: What could possibly be more irritating than an Instagram foodie? Answer: An Instagram foodie who’s hitting the gym and feels the need to update you with their pre and post-workout meals (and breakfast, lunch, brunch and possibly ‘brinner’).

3. Instagram profiles like this

I bet you think this post is about you, don’t you?

4. You're more concerned with your apparel than your actual workout

You need to come properly equipped to the gym, that is pretty much a given, after all you don’t want to be ‘that guy’ who rolls up to a workout in cargo shorts and plimsolls. What’s not cool is when you start treating the place like your own personal fashion show and you start posting items of clothing like you’re some sort of sponsored athlete. You may think you look cool posting that compression top you saw on the runway but in the end you just come off as an unsuspecting marketing tool.

5. The obligatory ‘I’m in the gym’ post

You know those people who constantly update you about how their workout is going, like they NEED to tell just how fit they are and how much they’re exercising? It’s as if they’re compensating for ‘other short-comings’. 

Cool story bro.

6. No footage of you actually working out

On the real though, how do we know you’re even doing it right? If you’re so great how about you show us your routine to get us some gains? For all we know you could just be jacking up on steroids or be really good at Photoshop.

7. The customary six-pack shot

Not sure as to what’s more offensive, a dick-pic or some wench dude flooding my IG timeline with his washboard abs. So let me get this straight, Instagram has banned women’s nipples but it’s still okay for some brother to offend my eyes with his mid-drift? Pot? Kettle? Black?

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