20 LMAO Moments From #BlackTwitter This Week

Image via Complex Original

Shout out to true fans of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

Vogue screwed up wonderfully following the publication of an article declaring big asses to be on trend — and giving partial credit to Jennifer Lopez for making it so. To anyone Black, this made about as much sense as thanking Paula Deen for improving race relations. And then came the virtual clapback — thanks to this hashtag. Y'all gon' learn to phone a Black before putting out this type of nonsense.

Reminder: two of these people are now part of Love and Hip Hop: Hollywood.

Cold blooded. I'll just make the note that technically R. Kelly is an "alleged" pedophile. There, can't sue me now, Pissy.

You folks are ruthless. Hilarious, but ruthless all the same. Insert the "100" emoji here.

I'm declaring Jackée Harry to be the cool auntie of Black Twitter. She quotes Nicki Minaj lyrics at random, would probably fuck ya daddy if ya mammy wasn't player hating (bet you she knows this line), and as you can see from this tweet (since deleted on her account), she'll drag your ass if need be. There are very few middle-aged Black women I would take to the club with me, but because Jackée can probably out twerk Rihanna, I'd totally go with her.

This is me, writing from the dead.

Following her very brief performance at Fashion Rocks, (CBS is a hater for cutting her set like that) images of Nicki Minaj's alleged (yes, have to say that) ass implant looking like the apple to her legs' lolipop stick hit the web. Though most attributed it to Photoshop, Getty Images never lie. Or do they? I don't know, but I know two things for sure: #TeamMinaj and this tweet is funny as fuck no matter what.

Miscegenation can be a beautiful thing — just ask Barack Hussein Obama, Mariah Carey, and eternal bae, Halle Berry. However, sometimes you'll find yourself dating someone who wants to scold you for not getting your Al Sharpton on when they feel as if you should. Martin Luther King Jr. didn't dream of white people trying to project their white guilt onto us. Besides, I gave a few dollars to then Senator Obama for his presidential campaign and that motherfucker — God bless him — will likely be emailing me for cash for the rest of my natural damn life.

Bless the heart of rap legend Kimberly Jones, but if there was any lingering doubt that she might want to go sit down somewhere, pump and consider taking a few dozen months off from music, it is the release of her mixtape, "Hard Core." Released nearly a year after it was originally promised, the mixtape is not sequenced, has varying audio levels, and actually skips on a track. A multi-platinum selling rapper who can't even take the time to number the tracks on her mixtape is a rapper who should be at home coming up with a nice email to send Mona Scott-Young.

"So nasty, so rude."

No shade to those who enjoy Alicia Keys' brand of screaming.

Thanks for the reminder to see No Good Deed during a matinee.

Real.

Shout out to General Tso's Chicken. You be the best.

As a tall person who bops, I respectfully disagree with this. Haters gonna hate, though, but I just love, love, love. And laugh.

Musiq Soulchild is pulling a Black Ty, dubbing himself "The Husel" as he embarks on a rap career. Folks have other suggestions. Suggestions that might earn them the top bunk in hell, but suggestions the same.

I appreciate traditionalists.

As soon as I finish these next three drinks, this is going to make me laugh.

It's nothing that a Jhené Aiko album wouldn't fix, beloved.