Tell Me Your Name Again: The 25 Greatest (and Possibly Forgettable) Minor Characters in "The Simpsons"

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Debut Episode: Girly Edition

Voice Actor: Dan Castellaneta

Key Quote: “Pray. For. Mojo.”

The animals in The Simpsons are the highlight of any episode, and Mojo stands above them all. Homer, in a stalwart effort to be more lazy, procured Mojo as a helper monkey for Grandpa, only to take Mojo for himself. Mojo almost died under Homer's care - he became obese and incontinent, and he gasped for breath when he tried to dance for the last time. A steady diet of doughnuts and beer isn't for everyone. Pray for Mojo, people.

Debut Episode: Some Enchanted Evening

Voice Actor: Penny Marshall

Key Quote: “Look, kid. You're going to do what I say or I'm going to do something to you. And I don't know what that is because everyone has always done what I say.”

It's hard to believe when watching the later, more slapstick seasons, but The Simpsons was once capable of bringing raw emotion and drama. It even brought suspense. In the Season 1 finale “Some Enchanted Evening,” Bart, Lisa, and Maggie are held captive by Ms. Botz, a most wanted criminal disguised as a babysitter. The writers didn't really play this for laughs - Ms. Botz was sour, mean, and nasty. We feared for the kids' safety, and we learned to care for cartoon characters as much as their human counterparts.

Debut Episode: Mayored to the Mob

Voice Actor: Dan Castellaneta

Key Quote: “Eeeh-Ye-e-e-es?!”

A Frank Nelson tribute, The Yes Guy almost always starts with his back turned to us, so he catches us completely off guard. He doesn't need to do much to get a laugh: he mostly just says, “Eeeh-Ye-e-e-es?!” with different inflections. What makes The Yes Guy funny is his backstory. When Homer asked why he talks the way he does, the Yes Guy screamed, “I had a stro-o-o-o-o-o-o-ke!” Sure, he's a one note character, but what a note.

Debut Episode: Homer the Great

Voice Actor: Patrick Stewart

Key Quote: “Welcome to the club, Number 493. You have become a member of the ancient and noble society of Stonecutters, who since ancient times have always endeavored to shatter the stone of ignorance, to bring forth the light of truth. Now, let's all get drunk and play Ping-Pong!”

The Stonecutters episode, “Homer the Great,” was an instant classic - a send up of exclusive, secret societies and fraternities. And the Number One of The Stonecutters was none other than Patrick Stewart - or, as you might know him, Professor X and Captain Jean-Luc Picard. That deep, authoritative, British-accented voice could make anything - even the most ridiculous one-liners - sound meaningful.

Debut Episode: Bart's Comet

Voice Actor: Nancy Cartwright

Key Quote: “Ahhh… this is the life we chose…”

Matt Groening is on record stating that Database is his least favorite character. And we can see why. His voice, his look, his mannerisms - he's a walking, talking pain in the ass. But that's the reason why we love him - in small doses of course. His best line, strangely enough, is the weird, moaning noises that he makes. Daaaaahhhh! Daaaaahhh! It's not really what he says, but how he says it.

Debut Episode: Insane Clown Poppy

Voice Actor: Dan Castellaneta

Key Quote: “Okay, it's me! I can't help it! I just like squealing! It makes me feel big!”

Omerta. It's the Mafia's code of honor, which binds all men to absolute silence. Apparently, Frankie the Squealer never got the memo. Many mob informants rationalize their snitching - they're doing the right thing, or they had a crisis of conscience. Frankie, on the other hand, has entirely petty reasons. “I just like squealing! It makes me feel big!” For his own sake, Fat Tony needs to whack the guy ASAP.

Debut Episode: The Simpsons Movie

Voice Actor: Tress MacNeille

Key Quote: “Oink!”

Plopper was the breakout star of “The Simpsons Movie.” All it took was the first official trailer for the film. We laughed as Homer, holding Plopper upside down, walked his new pet across the ceiling to the tune of “Spider-Pig.” Homer loved Plopper more than Bart for a good part of the film. We're not saying that Homer was right to feel this way, but we understand. After all, it's an animal in people clothes. How can you not love him?

Debut Episode: There's No Disgrace Like Home

Voice Actor: Dan Castellaneta / Harry Shearer

Key Quote: “Aaaaaah!!”

Most of the show's early critics criticized the show's crudeness, and so the writers responded by creating a violent, gross 'show within a show.' “The Itchy and Scratchy Show” is a Bizarro universe “Tom and Jerry.” And just like Jerry, Itchy is always the victor of his encounters: disemboweling, dismembering, and disfiguring Scratchy in many creative ways. Leave it to The Simpsons to take the piss out of their haters.

Debut Episode: The War of the Simpsons

Voice Actor: Hank Azaria

Key Quote: “Dude!”

Snake is an enduring reminder of the Springfield Police Department's incompetence. No matter how many times they lock Snake up, he manages to break out, grab his trusty shotgn, rob the Quick-E-Mart, and shoot Apu. Snake's surfer lingo is a stroke of brilliance - it makes him more comical and less menacing. A serial murderer isn't supposed to be funny, but Snake manages it in every one of his scene-stealing appearances.

Debut Episode: Principal Charming

Voice Actor: Dan Castellaneta

Key Quote: “No one's gay for Moleman…”

Poor Moleman: underloved and underappreciated by everyone in the town. He's a satirical take on American attitudes toward the elderly - everyone walks over him, or abuses him, or even worse, acts like he doesn't exist. Moleman is at his best when tasked with something he's incapable of, like driving a mack truck. Moleman's also surprisingly durable - Maude Flanders died after falling out of a stadium, but Moleman took an electric drill to the head like a champ.

Debut Episode: Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie

Voice Actor: Hank Azaria

Key Quote: “¡Ay, Dios no me ama!”

A pure stereotype amongst many pure stereotypes, Bumblebee Man is a send-up of low-budget, slapstick comedies on Telemundo. Clumsy and idiotic, Bumblebee Man screams and hollers in deliberately butchered Spanish. We learn later that he's a fake - he's actually a native Belgian, and he only learned to speak Spanish when he joined Channel Ocho. It adds a funny awareness to his character. He's not a Mexican; he's a racist Belgian who's projecting what he thinks a Mexican should be. Ay yi yi.

Debut Episode: Bart Gets an Elephant

Voice Actor: Hank Azaria

Key Quote: “Hey kids! We're eatin' dinner tonight! Come on out, Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermott, Jordan, Taylor, Britney, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendall, Caitlin, Noah, Sash, Morgan, Kira, Ian, Lauren, Cubert, Phil.”

Cletus is trailer trash, and proud of it. He checks off every single box - inbred relations,tons of kids, no technology, and lots of booze. And dumb, dumb, dumb. Cletus' job is to firmly define the rock bottom of decency and cleanliness. And whether he's eating roadkill or bathing his kids with a garden hose, he does his job with enthusiasm and vigor.

Debut Episode: Homer Alone

Voice Actor: Dan Castellaneta

Key Quote: “He's jumping out of the car, Kent, he's trying to climb over the fence. Now he's realizing he's too fat. He's digging a hole like a dog. Now he's given up on that and he's running back and forth. He's climbing into the pipe and he seems to be stuck. His legs are dangling in a comical fashion… oh, it's the saddest thing I've ever seen.”

The most enjoyable aspect of watching live news is to see the bloopers. News anchors behave like robots, and so any trace of humanity or fallibility is fascinating to see. This is why we love watching Arnie Pye, who always kills in the little screen time he gets. It's his barely veiled anger, his hatred of Kent Brockman, and his droning, high pitched voice, that makes him a perfect parody character. Whenever Springfield suffers an awful disaster, it's nice to have a bird's eye view.

Debut Episode: Girly Edition

Voice Actor: Tress MacNeille

Key Quote: “I have a serious brain disease. Please give me a cat.”

Okay, yeah. The Crazy Cat Lady is probably a little too high on this list. She's essentially a gag character - although we recently learned that she was an Ivy League graduate before her nervous breakdown. Still, we're hard pressed to think of another Simpsons character who consistently generates laughter with nothing more than random gibberish. And the way she throws her cats at unsuspecting citizens? Hilarious. On the rare occasions that she experiences “brief moments of lucidity,” The Crazy Cat Lady seems pleasant and socially conscious. Just don't tell her that her pills are Reese's Pieces.

Debut Episode: Bart's Friend Falls in Love

Voice Actor: Hank Azaria

Key Quote: “Singles life is great, Homer. I can do whatever I want. Today I drank a beer in the bathroom.”

What a beaten down man. Kirk is truly his son's father. He's suffered so many indignities and emasculating slights, he must be carrying around his balls in his change purse. Luann, his wife/ex/wife/ex, has dated and slept with most of the eligible men in Springfield. Kirk, on the other hand, sleeps alone, in his racing car bed, by his lonesome. Break out the lotion buddy. It's going to be another one of those nights.

Debut Episode: Bart Gets Hit By a Car

Voice Actor: Hank Azaria

Key Quote: “Why, if it isn't my old friend, Mr. McGreg. With a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg!”

Lionel Hutz and Dr. Nick share the same hallway in the Springfield Mall, and it's no wonder - they're both complete frauds. Dr. Nick is medical help on a budget, and his happy-go-lucky, doesn't-give-a-shit attitude makes him all the more frightening. Remember when Homer needs open heart surgery? It's a good thing that Lisa was able to talk him through most of it. “Thanks, little girl!”

Debut Episode: Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(D'oh!)cious

Voice Actor: Maggie Roswell

Key Quote: “I've been singing you songs all day. I'm not a bloody jukebox!”

Here's another one-off character. Shary Bobbins was the ideal nanny, sweet and perfect in every way. Eventually, however, Shary was broken by the disfunctionality of the Simpson family, and driven to drink. There's only so many cupcakes that you can clean off the wall. Shary eventually got sucked into an airplane engine as she flew away. We'll miss you, magical lady. Just don't call her Mary Poppins. She's an original character, just like Rickey Rouse and Monald Muck.

Debut Episode: New Kid on the Block

Voice Actor: Hank Azaria

Key Quote: “I'm married to the sea, plus I have a thing on the side with two of the Great Lakes. I won't say which, but it's Erie how Superior they are.”

The Sea Captain was created by Conan O'Brien, who, in the early years of The Simpsons, was a head writer and producer. The Sea Captain is pure stereotype - a subversive cross between a crab fisherman and a pirate. He's got two glass eyes, a fake leg, and an empty bank account. No matter what the topic, The Sea Captain can find a way to make it nautical. “Yarr!”

Debut Episode: The Way We Was

Voice Actor: Harry Shearer

Key Quote: “If tears could burst through my muscular ducts, I would cry like a baby who was just hit by a hammer.”

Arnold Schwarzenegger… er… Rainier Wolfcastle… isn't exactly subtle commentary. Massive guns. Massive explosions. Women with massive boobs. The giant, dumb, Nazi sympathizer is every 80's action actor, all rolled into one. Fun easter egg: if you stitch together all of the McBain clips from the first few seasons, you can create a coherent mini-movie.

Debut Episode: The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson

Voice Actor: Hank Azaria

Key Quote: “Duff wholeheartedly supports the designated driver program. NOW, WHO WANTS TO PARTY?!”

Duffman is a bro's bro. A corporate beer shill with a Randy Savage demeanor, he's a superhero to all of the barflies in Moe's Tavern. Like any mascot, it's hard to get a firm backstory on Duffman. Several times, Duffman has claimed that he's gay. Other times, he's claimed to have a family, with a son and daughter named Dufflad and Duffgirl. Once, he was rumored to have died. Duffman, however, put it best: “Duffman can never die! Only the actors who play him.” Oh yeah!

Debut Episode: Two Bad Neighbors

Voice Actor: Hank Azaria

Key Quote: “I hate disco. It's all I've talked about for so long, people think I'm a one-note guy. It's just getting harder, you know.”

We all know about that guy in the club, who's macking on every young chick he lays eyes on, and whose clothes are way too shiny for his hairline. Disco Stu is that guy - tragically unhip, and hopelessly single. Appropriately, he's taken up with both Miss Krabappel and Marge's sister Selma - two of Springfield's most desperate bachelorettes. Do you want to boogaloo? Oh, you know you want to.

Debut Episode: Realty Bites

Voice Actor: Dan Castellaneta

Key Quote: “Oh, this is bad, this is really bad! You work, and you slave, and you steal just enough for a sweet lick of that shiny brass ring… don't I get a lick? Doesn't Gil get a lick?”

It sucks to be Gil. Everyone shits on this guy, and he just takes it - mountains and mountains of it. It's almost as if Gil is paying for everyone else's sins - Homer and Chief Wiggum, by themselves, should have been killed hundreds of times by now. It's a sad, cosmic joke, that one man has horrible misfortune, while another man gets to go to space, meet Presidents, and vacation in exotic locales. Sorry, Ol' Gil. We hate to say this, but we hope that your bad luck never runs out.

Debut Episode: Homer's Enemy

Voice Actor: Hank Azaria

Key Quote: “I'm saying… you're what's wrong with America, Simpson. You coast through life, you do as little as possible, and you leech off of decent, hardworking people… like me. If you lived in any other country in the world, you'd have starved to death long ago.”

Frank Grimes only appears in one episode, but the episode is one of the greats - Matt Groening himself considers it to be one of his favorites. Grimes is a man from the 'real world' - a nuclear physicist who works hard for every day of his life, only to realize that Homer surpasses him. Grimes slowly unravels, as he struggles to reconcile Homer's stupidity and incompetence with his unbelievable success. The episode's ending is pitch dark - never had the writers been so eviscerating of their characters and themselves.

Debut Episode: Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

Voice Actor: Glenn Close

Key Quote: “Remember, whatever happens, you have a mother, and she's truly proud of you.”

Homer's mother is the beating absentee heart of the show. All of Homer's problems as a father and a man can be traced back to his awful childhood - a mother who left him, and a father who drank and neglected him. Whenever Mona came back into Homer's life, we saw a glimpse of the man he could have been. We see the warmth and sensitivity that he was never given, and thus, could never give to his own kids. Mona died in a now classic Mother's Day episode, and a guilt-ridden Homer was finally able to make peace with her.

Debut Episode: Lisa's Substitute

Voice Actor: Dustin Hoffman

Key Quote: “I'm sorry, Lisa. It's the life of the substitute teacher. He's a fraud. Today he wears gym shorts, tomorrow he speaks French or runs a band saw or God knows what.”

Man, this character was a tearjerker. Mr. Bergstrom was 'that' teacher - the one who touches and influences his students' lives, and makes them better people. Lisa immediately gravitated to him - unlike Homer, Mr. Bergstrom cultivated and encouraged her intelligence, and sympathized with the limitations of her working class family. His last written words - “You are Lisa Simpson” was a moving lesson - for Lisa to judge herself by her own values and beliefs, rather than by the approval of others.