Thanks to a little movie called Jaws, we'll always fear the ocean. No number of documentaries about diminishing shark populations or their hesitation to approach, much less attack, humans will change this—primarily because, for every one of those pro-shark flicks, there are several more movies like Steven Spielberg's classic 1975 horror flick that reinforce the image of them as bloodthirsty, prehistoric predators.
But then, of course, there are also cinematic jokes like Sharknado and Sharktopus to remind us that, you know, sharks can also be pretty fun. The ultimate reminder of that is, yes, Discovery Channel’s annual celebration of all things authentically Jaws-like, "Shark Week." This year’s edition kicked off yesterday, beginning seven days’ worth of informative and endlessly watchable specials like Lair of the Mega Shark, Monster Hammerhead, and I Escaped Jaws 2. Your DVR isn’t ready.
To get you in the mood, here are the best shark attacks in movies, a delightful, gruesome, and mostly cheesy-looking reminder that just because Shark Week’s Spawn of Jaws 2: The Birth will make you wet your skivvies, that doesn’t mean you should overlook the wonder of Dinoshark.
Shark wins the zombie vs. shark battle, Zombie (1979)
Swamp Shark leaping decapitation of pervy Deputy Cooper, Swamp Shark (2011)
Jaws attacks female swimmer, encouraging bikini-clad women to stay on land, Jaws (1975)
Jaws gnaws on salty, old Quint like he’s jerky, Jaws (1975)
A helicopter is like a Happy Meal to Jaws, Jaws 2 (1978)
Protein-craving Jaws chomps on a banana boat, Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
Jaws mistakes an airplane for a Twinkie, Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
Dinoshark breaks up a game of water polo, Dinoshark (2010)
Dinoshark really hates water polo players, Dinoshark (2010)
Dinoshark will do flying leaps for food, Dinoshark (2010)
Bull shark grabs a quick meal out of a mangrove tree, Shark Night 3D (2011)
Hammerhead shark goes toe-to-fin with a one-armed student athlete and his harpoon, Shark Night 3D (2011)
Great White Shark eats (a jet skiier) on the go, Shark Night 3D (2011)
Unseen sharks nibble on scuba divers, Open Water (2003)
Seafood? Sharktopus prefers landlubbers, Sharktopus (2010)
Sharktopus treats a bungee jumper like a worm on a fishing rod, Sharktopus (2010)
“Sleeping shark” has a scientist’s arm for a midnight snack, Deep Blue Sea (1999)
Smart shark hurls scientist at his friends, Deep Blue Sea (1999)
Smart shark punctuates Samuel L. Jackson’s stirring motivational speech, Deep Blue Sea (1999)
Shark goes for a ride on the Bat-copter via the Dark Knight’s leg, Batman (1966)
Mega Shark sees red, bites the Golden Gate Bridge, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009)
Mega Shark has serious hops, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009)
Sharks agree that spring break is like a meat market, Spring Break Shark Attack (2005)
Megalodon doesn’t mind the sliminess of a guy who stole a life vest off a woman, Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (2002)
Megalodon eats a life raft whole like he’s competing against Kobayashi, Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (2002)
Megalodon opens wide for a jet skiier, Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (2002)
Great White Shark never lets meal time get away, The Last Shark (1981)
Two water skiiers means two-headed shark never needs to share, 2-Headed Shark Attack (2012)
Two-headed shark always seems to find people in pairs, 2-Headed Shark Attack (2012)
Two-headed shark eats in church, like FTW, 2-Headed Shark Attack (2012)
Doomed flying shark stupidly tries swallowing Ian Ziering and his chainsaw, Sharknado (2013)
Tara Reid gives a flying shark a hand, Sharknado 2: The Second One (2014)
