Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson has been in the spotlight since he People's-Elbowed into the wrestling ring in 1996. From there, he continued to climb up the ladder known as success. And now, he's starring in Hercules, one of the biggest epics of the season (which hits theaters this Friday). Here, in a form everyone will understand, GIFS, is the Legend of Dwayne Johnson. A history of a man.
It all started with an eyebrow. It became The People's Eyebrow, no longer a part of Johnson's own body, but formally owned by the United States Government. Every American shares a piece of this eyebrow.
"Do you smell-ell-ell-ell what The Rock is cooking?" During our childhood, we survived on a steady diet of government cheese and the People's Elbow macaroni. What was The Rock cooking? We may never truly know the answer, but everyone, in their heart of hearts, understands. It's not a real thing, it's just a feeling. He heated up a can of whoop-ass maybe?
The Rock became the People's Champion, not only in wrestling, but in life. This has been covered up by the government, he became the People's Champion not by winning a special belt in the ring, but because he was part of a secret mission to space to hold an intergalactic peace conference with Martians. God speed and God bless Mr. The Rock.
In honor of The Rock's American duty, he was honored with a role in The Mummy Returns, a documentary starring alongside America's most famed adventurer, Brendan Fraser. Of course, Dwayne Johnson was only reenacting the action of the documentary, he was not truly the Scorpion King. (Brendan Fraser was real though.)
If you just look at Johnson's mouth in this GIF it's like he's saying, "Hey you! Sit down!" which is exactly what we did, in a movie theater, when he starred in The Scorpion King.
Stealing every red-blooded American's heart wasn't enough for Dwayne Johnson. Soon, he came after our children. He appeared in a bunch of Disney shows, as seen here in Hannah Montana.
Soon, Dwayne Johnson was drafted to another secret government division of mythical creatures. He became the Tooth Fairy and earned more and more power through the magic of children's happiness and molars.
Rumors of Johnson's government ties began to spread through the underground and he had to throw out a diversion. On SNL, he mocked the leader of the free world, Barack Obama, by appearing as a Obama/Hulk crossbreed, The Rock Obama.
In Fast & Furious 6, Johnson realized he could fly without the Tooth Fairy wings. Enemies began to wet their pants at the mere sight of him. He continued to become more and more powerful.
And now in Hercules, Dwayne Johnson has become a demigod.
Next role? Jesus. (Crosses fingers.)
Hope Schreiber is a contributing writer whose personal hero is Mr. The Rock. She tweets here.