Let’s be frank: Real Betis sucks. Honestly, they're so bad that you probably don't even know who they are. So, for those not in the know, we'll give you a quick refresher. Real Betis is a member of the Spanish soccer league, La Liga. However, 'member' has become something of loose term for them. In their past 14 seasons in La Liga, the team has never finished higher than fourth. This past season, they bottomed out at dead last in the table. The club won just six of 38 matches this season, and they were outscored by 42 goals. It’s that bad.
In real life, there’s no help for this club. It’s doomed as the doormat of La Liga now and for the foreseeable future. However, this is exactly why we have video games.
Clearly no one is skilled enough to captain this ship to glory with its current players. We need to enlist the help of a few super athletes, even if they aren’t even footballers.
And now that LeBron James' season with the Miami Heat has come to an end, we started to wonder: how would LeBron James fare in world football? Not only James, either, but also Steve Nash, Floyd Mayweather Jr., and Patrick Kane? After all, Real Betis is phenomenally bad. If we're going pick this team up, then we'll need to get creative.
Using some skillful character modding, we were able to construct our team of heroes. Here are their stats:
The four-time MVP LeBron James was given an overall rating of 93, with great all-around skills. Since he's one of most skilled players in the NBA, we made passing his best attribute.
The same was true for two-time MVP Steve Nash, but he wasn't quite as deadly or as powerful as LeBron. Nash's rating came out to an 88. The Canadian baller—who has repeatedly expressed his love for soccer—will finally get the chance to follow through on his other childhood dream.
The NHL star Patrick Kane is simply designed to be a striker. He had good power and shot accuracy, but since skating is such a huge part of his actual sport, we thought it made sense to make balance his best feature. His overall rating was an 85.
Undefeated professional boxer Floyd Mayweather Jr. possesses his best attributes in the categories of awareness and defense. His speed is high as well, giving him an overall rating of 87.
Now, this four-man group of soccer saviors has arrived in the fantasy world of FIFA 14 to help Real Betis turn the tides. Can they transform the club from cellar-dwellers to stars?
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Messi Makes Them Pay
Messi Makes Them Pay
Players of LeBron James & Co.'s stature don’t need a warm-up. They’re ready to jump right in with Paulao and the rest of Real Betis to go up against La Liga superpower FC Barcelona.
Here’s how it all went down.
Early on, we couldn’t help but wonder if Oklahoma City Thunder center Serge Ibaka should have been created to play goalie for Real Betis. Why? Because Lionel Messi wasted no time setting up Neymar for this slick goal to give Barca the 1-0 lead.
Kane
Kane Delivers the KO
After Neymar netted that goal, Chicago Blackhawks center Patrick Kane decided to show the Barca boys how an NHL'er like himself does it on the ice. Kane's sliding tackle sent Barcelona's Pedro into a face plant.
Victor Valdes
This is Why Other Countries Call it "Football"
Kane tried to answer for Real Betis, but Barca's Victor Valdes showed him what a kick save really looks like. It's a spectacular denial at the net for the former Barcelona keeper. Valdes may have left the team IRL, but our virtual simulation gives him new life with the club.
LeBron James
Alley-Oop
But as any fan of the NHL knows, you can’t keep Kane down forever. He takes the beautiful set-up from LeBron James and beats Valdes to his right. We’re all knotted up at 1.
Steve Nash
Dream Team
LeBron wasn’t done setting up his team either. He leads Nash perfectly with this pass while Nash avoids the offsides. Just like that, the two-time MVP gives Real Betis the 2-1 lead. One would expect Nash to be dishing out dimes, but LBJ is awakening his inner-Magic Johnson to will his team to victory.
Oh, and you know what else is unexpected? The fact that Real Betis is on the verge of taking down Barcelona. Can they close out the upset?
Floyd Mayweather Jr.
Pedro
Standing in the way of Real Betis' potential win is Barca's unshakable depth. The team's roster is loaded with play-makers and dangerous scorers everywhere.
Pedro does damage as he beats Floyd Mayweather Jr. for a game-tying goal in the second half. The Spanish national team could've used Pedro's touch when they were dominated by Holland last week. Alas, the native footballer couldn't make the roster.
LeBron James Bicycle
Bend it Like Bron Bron
In spite of Floyd's misstep LeBron was doing everything he could to carry his team back over Barcelona. James just kept himself involved throughout the entire match with both his passing and his shot attempts, the latter of which you see here. James tries this acrobatic kick, but, unfortunately, he couldn’t bend it like Beckham. The attempt went wide right.
Barcelona
The Empire Strikes Back
Despite the best efforts from James and the rest of his teammates, this match couldn’t be settled in regulation. We had to go into OT.
In the extra session, Barcelona struck first. Neymar set up Iniesta and the Barca midfielder didn't disappoint. He deposited the go-ahead goal during the 101st minute of the match. It’s 3-2, Barcelona, and suddenly, Real Betis' hopes of pulling off the shocker are looking premature.
Would this band of super athletes pull together and fight back?
Here's the short answer: yes. With time running down, LeBron shows off his amazing passing ability with this sliding assist. He hits Kane in the perfect situation, who scores and ties up the game again. Now it appears that even extra minutes won't be enough to decide this contest.
Penalty Shoot-out
Shoot-Out
It all came down to a penalty shoot-out, the ultimate nail-biter in soccer. In situations like these it can be anyone's game. It's a one-on-one game that becomes a matter of deception and confidence. Normally, in a match-up like this, Barcelona's experience would give them the clear advantage. However, as we all know, this is not a normal match. In this contest, Real Betis was on their virtual game.
Their road to victory started with Kane, Nash and Mayweather, who all netted their penalties.
Betis Beats Barca
Betis Beats Barca
Amazingly, Barcelona wasn't able to muster the same sort of luck or poise. The many-time La Liga champions were shut out, including this choke by Messi that officially eliminated his squad.
The final tally in the penalty shoot-out was 3-0, Real Betis. In this instance, star power trumped talent and teamwork, giving LeBron a much-needed victory after the defeat he suffered at the hands of the San Antonio Spurs.
After a match like this, only one question remains: is it too late to get King James to Brazil?
